I just have to get this off my chest...

about 6 years ago Sam and I were looking into buying a trailer or small fixer-upper - we needed a jumping off point so we went to the bank to see what kind of money we would qualify for

we had always heard 'the bank doesn't want your house' therefor they won't give you more than you can afford to pay back - but we quickly learned that this was no longer the case...

when I saw the number they were prepared to lend us I laughed my ass off!! with our income at the time there was NO WAY we could afford what they seemed to think we deserved

we had done the math, knew what we had coming in and what we already had going out (phone, student loans etc.) things that wouldn't change no matter where we lived

we knew what our current situation was and that paying a mortgage that was even equivalent to our rent ($500 a month) would be tight... and that didn't include property taxes, home owners insurance, a maintenance budget or lot rent if we went with a trailer

we looked into round about what these things would cost

we knew exactly what we could afford for a mortgage payment and it was NOWHERE near what they were prepared to lend us!!

had we gotten stars in our eyes and taken them up on that money there is NO doubt in my mind that we would be among the MANY people out there losing their homes because they borrowed money they could never have afforded to pay back

when I hear anyone suggest that the government help these people out I cringe!!

they are in this situation because they weren't using their noggins!! WHY should we as tax payers bail their asses out??!! we used our heads and now we're not in over them!! they could have done the same thing...

yes the banks are guilty for offering money to people who could not afford it... but the people have no one to blame but themselves - it's not freakin' rocket science... hell if I can do this math ANYONE can!!

of course I feel bad for these people for what they'll be losing... but COME ON!!

the problem with this country is that everyone thinks they are entitled to live the life of Riley (whoever Riley is)

America is the land of OPPORTUNITY - NOT the land of entitlement!!
you can't have things just because you want them... you have to EARN them - PERIOD!! these are lessons we should have learned as children - but somewhere along the way parents became more concerned with status and being their kid's friends than actually preparing them for life as adults

now we have a generation (or two) of great big spoiled brats with no clue how to get by... and the government is like a giant bad parent not wanting make anyone unhappy or upset the apple cart...

guess what - the apple cart dun tipped over... and it turns out the contents are rotten!!

the jig is up... we can no longer live the way we've been taught to assume we're entitled to live - we can't ALL have it all

GET OVER IT!!

if you break your toy you do not get a new one... and if you buy something you can't afford - they take it away!! and if that means the economy goes haywire for a while... so be it!! we've been through hard times before

...

I'm bummed... so much snow had melted in the last couple weeks that I could actually see a light at the end of the tunnel... the edges of our yard were snow free and I could see ground again

that made me happy

seriously I would be passing by the window and stop to look at the brown patches of dead leaf covered lawn and smile!!

but last night a couple of 'stray snow showers' dropped like two inches of that white crap on us... completely blanketing the newly uncovered patches of spring-like beauty and snuffing out the light at the end of the tunnel

=(

on the plus side... it seems pretty windy today - I LOVE WIND... so that's a nice surprise =)

and it's FRIDAY!! woo hoo

I'm glad it really is Friday... all day yesterday I kept thinking it was Friday... it kinda sucks when you keep realizing it's really only Thursday haaaa

so uh... yeah... that's alls I gots...

be there or be... alive

so I'm checking the obituaries this morning... like I do every morning - ya know... to make sure I'm not in there haaaa

I was not (THANK GOD!)

in fact NOBODY was...

but what WAS there struck me as rather amusing:

(you know the drill)

?!?!?
uh... no thanks!!
that is one link I can TOTALLY resist clicking on!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

WOO HOO!!

ya know how I was saying I want new living room furniture - but am reluctant to spend a lot on NEW stuff when my cat likes to claw at things?

I decided I'd be happy with someone else's old stuff if I could take the time to really look and not just grab the first thing at a yard sale that doesn't make me puke...

craigslist is perfect for this purpose...

where else could you find something this awesomely hideous?!?!






I HAVE TO HAVE IT!!

goonie goo goo II or guess what! - my nipples stick out!!

last Friday I had the dreaded appointment to get my girly bits examined - I shouldn't really complain... after all it had been FIVE years my last exam ~ why does this feel like a confession? haaaa

forgive me Doctor... for I have sinned - it has been 5 years since my last PAP smear

I guess then the fact that I learned that 35 is the new 40 (meaning it's mammogram time) is my penance

to tell ya the truth... probably the only reason I went when I did was because I've been having 'problems' - if not getting your period could really be considered a problem

I know... kinda seems a shame to have to complain about that, right? hehehe I mean - I've been getting my period for over 25 years and not for nothin' but that seems like long enough!!

of course I did the usual... googled 'skipped periods' and discovered as usual that it's possible I have a brain tumor... but more likely it's something called polycystic ovary syndrome

which basically means it's possible that some day soon I may be a man, baby!!

haaa not really

but my hormones are screwy, my ovaries aren't working right and as a result I have even more trouble trying to not be fat and will have to save all my money for laser hair removal - in other words I either have to get it in check or go through life slowly turning into Aunt Bunny

oh and be at higher risk for uterine cancer, heart disease and god knows what else

on the plus side... the odds of getting pregnant are pretty slim... so I guess Sam can stop saving up for that vasectomy he keeps dreaming of

anyway... the doctor wants me to have all these tests done to check my hormone levels and get a sonogram - I guess to check for whatever cysty things would be on my ovaries - I don't know...

I just called the lab to get a price check on the tests (of which there are 7) and they are almost all over $100!! one is $347!!

all together they total almost $940!!

and that is not including the lab cost for the PAP I had while I was at the doctors office OR the sonogram!!

not to mention the mammogram...

the office visit alone which we paid cash for was $175!!

another thing she said is that she wants me to have the blood tests on the 3rd day of my period AND I have to be fasting for 8 hours - in other words 1st thing in the morning!!

how the hell am I supposed to work out getting to a lab for blood work first thing in the morning on the 3rd day of my period??!!! (which in case you didn't hear... I never seem to get anymore!!)

why don't you just ask me to make it rain or turn some water into wine?

I understand the reason for it - but it's pretty fucking impossible to arrange

sooooooooooo I don't really know what to do... I've looked into this polycystic spree or whatever the hell it's called and it seems the only thing you can really do is take medication I REALLY don't want to take - which I probably also can't afford

and lose weight...

so I think for now my plan is to lose weight... from what I understand this is caused by some kind of insulin thing and they suggest you eat as if you are diabetic - and hey who can argue with that? that is probably how we should all be eating

and of course exercise

so for now that is what I'm gonna do - while I figure out how to proceed as far as these blood tests go

by the way did I mention that my nipples stick out??

there I am laying back on the table getting my complimentary breast exam - kinda joking around with the doctor a bit to ease the tension - and when she is done doing her thing she says 'your nipples stick out'

I was like... 'uh - yeah! that seems to be my husband's favorite feature!'

I mean seriously... has a doctor ever remarked that your nipples stick out???!! HA!!

of course my fucking nipples are sticking out - I just spent 45 minutes freezing my ass off in your waiting room and now I'm laying half naked on a table being groped - what the hell do you expect?

so she tells me that she just likes to tell people that everything is working as it should... and that some people's nipples don't stick out

so I was like - well maybe they're just not as excited to see you as I am!!

she laughed... then proceeded to jack me up and lacerate my cervix with her tiny little mascara brush from hell

this whole process is barbaric and humiliating... and now I have to be financially ass raped??!!

anyway... I'm off to work out and rid my house of the evil white foodstuffs and replace them with fruits and fibers and lots of whole grain 'deliciousness' - don't expect to see much of me from now on - I reckon I'll be too busy pooping to really have much time to blog...

have a nice day!! =)

my plan...

so like, you guys know how I struggle with my weight, right? I'm sure I've mentioned my status as QUEEN LARD ASS of kittyville once or twice hehehe

last night I came up with this totally awesome motivational idea...

obviously I want to lose weight and that is the key - the rest of the plan hinges on weight actually being lost to begin with

ok so the plan is... for every pound I lose, I'll buy a pound of rice (more likely in 5-10 pound intervals) and keep it where I can see it - probably in a box marked 'MOTIVATION' or something like that...

then every time I feel myself slipping I will look in the box at the rice/weight I have lost... and lift it to feel how HEAVY it is

I reckon if I (and the box o' motivation) do the job that before long the box will be too heavy for me to lift... I do have awfully weak arms so that REALLY shouldn't take long hehehe

in the end - once I've (HOPEFULLY) lost all my excess weight (which is A LOT) - I will donate the rice to the local food bank...

this plan is good for a couple reasons... one I'll have another thing to work toward - not just for myself but for other people - I do sometimes feel guilty being so fat when so many people have no food at all - so maybe if I feel like giving up - I'll be able to look at the box o' motivation and encourage myself to keep it up... if not for myself, than 'for the TRULY hungry people'

I do tend to care more about others than I do about myself a lot of the time

this works in two ways... one I want to help them and the more weight I lose the more rice I can donate - and two what business do I have OVER eating when so many people are going to bed hungry?

also... sometimes it is difficult to stay motivated when you have a hard time seeing your results - we often see ourselves through overly critical eyes... and sure a scale doesn't lie... but you're also not standing on it looking at the number all the time and if you look in the mirror often you'll see more bad than good... I know I do anyway!!

weight just seems to vanish *POOF* and it's hard to envision what is no longer there... as much as you can tell your clothes are fitting better and all that... it's easy to lose sight of it - so to have a visual/tangible reminder of those pounds lost would have to make it easier to wrap your mind around (for me anyway)

maybe if I can SEE and FEEL the weight of all those pounds that are gone from me I will be glad to be rid of them and encouraged to keep up the good work... or disgusted enough to work to keep them off

so anyway - that's my new plan - I think it has potential... I'll keep you posted =)