and that's why they call it a crush...

ok so fluffycat had posted about a crush she had in high school – and it reminded me of a crush I had on this horrible boy when I was in school…

first of all – as I was saying in her comments… aside from the very rare new kid, I went all through school with the same kids year after year – all the same kids I went to nursery school with were also in my graduating class – it was a tiny school… I’m pretty sure there were only about 800 kids in my entire high school, which was 7th - 12th grade (in a district that spanned at least 7 towns! – that should give you some kind of an idea of how small kittyville really is!!)

anyway we’ll call him Shawn… he was the new boy - I think he came to my school in 5th grade... he had all the qualities I liked in a boy - DARK hair, blue eyes and that new boy smell (the fact that I hadn't know him since we were just out of diapers was MAJOR) but the fact that he was absolutely adorable sure didn’t hurt either… even if he was a bit of a jerk

somehow everyone knew I had a crush on him… they must have seen me getting all moony eyed whenever he came near… and they would sort of tease me about it - he was clearly out of my league… he was one of those kids that was instantly popular (probably because of his looks) and I was a total dork!!

keep in mind that 5th grade was the year I decided to go on a bathing strike haaaa

of course I always denied having any interest in him... but eventually I would send him notes and stuff and in a school that small it's NOT hard to figure out who's handwriting you're looking at!!

I didn’t really notice this then – but I always seemed to be in a bit of a bubble as far as the teasing went… I wasn’t the fattest kid or the skinniest kid, the tallest or the shortest, the smartest or the dumbest – and even though for a while I was probably the smelliest, there always seemed to be bigger fish to fry

so I guess in a way I was lucky… because I was WAY out there with my expressions of appreciation for this kid!!

I pretended I was interested in the same things he was interested in – right down to wearing the same types of clothes!! GREAT idea right? I mean we all know that a boy can’t resist a girl in a giant pair of red and black AIR JORDANS!!


anyway - this crush lasted a good two years!! of course I had other mini crushes along the way… but nothing like this one - I didn’t actually want to ‘go out’ with him or anything (I was WAY too shy for that!!) I basically enjoyed admiring him from afar (but apparently not far enough)

at some point I looked in the phone book, found his address and this is when I started sending him notes… in the mail!! I’m pretty sure I never signed them or I’m sure what eventually took place would have happened MUCH sooner!!

during mid-winter break in 6th grade our grandparents took me and my sister on a two week trip to Hawaii – while I was there I sent Shawn a postcard or two

obviously not too many kids from my school had spent their winter break in Hawaii – so there was no denying the cards were from me

when school started back up Shawn came over to my table one day during lunch and discreetly showed me the notes and asked if they were from me… of course I denied it!! but I’m sure my face was as red as my stupid air jordans!!

with a big dimply smile, in a very charming, nice as pie tone (which turned out to be his trademark) he proceeded to inform me that unless I bought him ice cream every day for the rest of the year that these notes would be passed around for the entire school to read!!

nice huh? of course I did what he said (this was back in the day before we knew not to negotiate with terrorists!) - there were two benefits to agreeing to this extortion effort

one: my not so secret, secret would remain a secret… and

two: I had daily interaction with Shawn when he came to collect his ice cream money – I must have had it in my head that I would either seem like less of a dork if I was seen talking with him OR that he might eventually notice how adorable I was and decide he liked me too…

of course I don’t know what I would have done if the latter had happened – I probably would have gone overboard making a big deal out of it as if he was out of his mind - to FINALLY prove once and for all that I did NOT like him… but that ‘HA HA you like me but I don’t care!!’

when it came down to it I’m pretty sure he showed everyone the postcards and notes even before he began the big ice cream shake down – but I’m not really sure

the next year being 7th graders, we were tiny fish in a big pond and all our grade school issues were a thing of the past… I lost interest in him and I guess he lost interest in ice cream – who knows… and really who cares?

life is all about lessons and I learned a valuable one from him - NEVER put anything in writing that you don't want other people to see!! hehehe

gobble gobble… BARF!!

thanksgiving - had a fucking headache ALL DAY!! not a bad one.. just one of those nagging sort of hangoverish type headaches… I had eaten something sweet and then fell asleep too early the night before… so in a way it was kinda like a hangover

even still… I managed to make all that I had committed to bringing to dinner - we went to my aunt’s (mother’s sister) house… like I said before we had to show up at lunch time in order to pig out on munchies and somewhat get our appetites back in time for dinner

I had been worried I might catch Sam’s cold and not be able to enjoy all that pigging out… instead my head was hurting and I took excedrin which made my heart feel all racy so I wasn’t really enjoying the food anyway =(

there were 17 of us there so it was VERY loud!! that didn’t help my headache… and all those people and all that noise didn’t help my caffeine buzz… I felt like my heart was gonna jump out of my chest – I’m sure it was just some kind of anxiety thing… I made myself join in the noise making and that helped me not focus on that zoomy heart feeling

my uncle’s brother and his family were there as well… I don’t think I have seen any of them since I was probably around 14 – it was kinda nice to see different faces – they brought along his wife’s mother who was a total HOOT!!

she’s 88 years old and blind as a bat!! her depth perception must be shot because she kept sticking her fingers in the dips and stuff trying to grab chips or shrimp – she kept saying ‘hmm what is this?’ as she reached for something and then dunking her fingers in the cocktail sauce as if it were a bowl of palmolive!!

being the germophobe that I am, I’m totally freaked out by the possibility of someone double dipping I always make sure I’m first in line and load up a plate before everyone digs in – I don’t know what it’s like in your family… but mine are like vultures!! they don’t use plates or forks - they just hover over the food, talking and laughing and I can just imagine tiny food bits and spit particles flying everywhere and landing on the buffet!! and if that’s not enough they’re always dunking their crackers and chips knuckle deep into the dips!!

so I guess the old lady kinda fit right in… I was just glad I had already loaded up a plate for myself!!

later on the hens were talking about reading and my aunt mentioned some books she had read and suggested the old lady get them on cd – since she obviously can’t read anymore

the first thing out of the old ladies mouth was ‘is there SEX in them?!’ apparently she likes her books to be chock full of sex!! and she went on to say how that stuff is still on your mind… even in your 80’s and how LONG it’s been for her (I guess her husband died about 20 years ago)

I felt bad for her poor grandson who by the time she finished going off about how much she likes sex (or what she remembers of it) his ears must have been bleeding!! YIKES c’mon Granny… spare your poor grandson the horror of the mental image that comes along with you enjoying a good sexy novel!!

dinner was good… I didn’t gorge myself – but I had a little bit of almost everything – I skipped the mashed potatoes because I’m not a huge fan – I’d much rather have sweet potatoes, corn pudding and biscuits!!

I wasn’t thinking and I stupidly ate a very small amount of the green bean casserole and shortly after that my headache turned into a full blown migraine – probably from the MSG in whatever condensed soup gets put into that… so I didn’t even have dessert

I DID bring some home though!! in fact Sam and I have been little piggies for a few days now… my mother made an extra pumpkin pie just for him (pumpkin pie=YUCK!!) and I’ve been eating leftover cheesecake and peanut butter cookies and we’ve both been gobbling up the gorilla bread that my mother made for all of us for breakfast on thanksgiving morning

yesterday was Sam’s brother’s birthday so we went over to his mother’s house for a little party – his father is a picky pain in the ass and was afraid he wouldn’t like the cake that was being made by the birthday boy’s girlfriend who is a culinary student (he was afraid she’d make some kind of yucky fancy thing) so he asked me to make a backup cake because he KNEW he’d like mine - I thought that was rude and told them I’d feel very uncomfortable walking in with a cake after this girl said she’d make one

they told me that since Sam’s sister’s birthday is Wednesday that I should just write her name on the cake!!

ok GREAT problem solved – I guess… but there were still TWO cakes there!! and of course we all had to have a piece of each… after just pigging out on pizza and soda – when all was said and done there I felt like I was gonna blow cheesy fizzy cake chunks all over the house!!

so it’s good that I had been working out and watching what I was eating BEFORE thanksgiving because I’ve surely gained about 80 pounds in the last 3 days!!

I’m kinda glad it’s Monday and we can go back to a normal routine with normal reasonably healthy food again!!

that is until Christmas… between Sam’s birthday the week before and then new years and MY birthday the week or so after Christmas we have about 3 weeks of totally rushed unhealthy eating to look forward to

I think I better eat A LOT of salad between now and the end of December if I plan on avoiding cardiac arrest!!

here's your bonus thanksgiving song since I skipped Fridays totally awesome video and couldn't very well torture you with two songs on wednesday hehehe

gobble gobble... a little early

I don't care how old it is - I LOVE that picture!! hehehe anyway I know I wont have time to post tomorrow (and you probably won't be here to read it anyway... except for you crazy Canadians anyway) so I'm doing my thanksgiving post a day early

ok here goes... I’m so psyched – I can’t wait to have some turkey and stuffing and cranberries and rolls and green bean casserole and sweet potatoes and corn pudding

but first I think I’ll have some butternut squash soup and cheese & crackers and shrimp and roasted red pepper dip and chips and cocktail meatballs and spinach artichoke dip and and and….

I better make sure I save some room for cheesecake and chocolate mousse cake and pecan pie and peanut butter cookies (which my little niece helped to make) and fruit cup… can’t forget about the fruit cup!! that’s MY contribution… well that and the rolls…. and the red pepper dip... and the corn pudding – I always volunteer to do too much!!

my family is big on FOOD at these types of gatherings… we usually feel like barfing from all that we’ve eaten LONG before dinner ever hits the table!!

seriously in order to make sure we have room for dinner we have to start eating hors d'œuvres at like noon!!

this year though I swear I’m saving room for all that stuffingy turkey-y cranberry-y goodness!!

I think I’m gonna start a mini fast-like thing now so that I don’t plump up TOO TOO much… more than I already am !! hehehe

but in a way I feel guilty about all that we’ll have… because I know that there are so many people out there who have nothing – and here we’ll be gorging ourselves in the comfort of a nice warm house surrounded by people who at least claim to love us hehehe

that’s a good place to start with a list of what I’m thankful for this year…

good food to eat - even if it does make me plumper than I’d like to be – I’m grateful for the opportunity to be as plump as I like (or don’t like)

friends and family – even if they get on my nerves sometimes… they mean well and boy would I be sad and lonely without them!!

a roof over my head – it may not be in my ideal location but it keeps us warm and dry and helps protect us from wild beasts... and bird poop!!

free long distance – since my oldest and bestest friend moved a million miles away I’m so glad we both have free long distance!! aside from the fact that I never actually see her face… it’s almost like she never left – almost

good health – relatively speaking… I did say good health, not GREAT! hehehe - I DO feel like I might be coming down with Sam's cold which I've been hoping if I have to catch, will hold off until Friday... so keep your fingers crossed!! I'd really like to be well enough to make everything I said I'd bring and be able to enjoy all that good food

the spousal unit – he works hard to keep us in good food and with a roof over our heads!! there are a million and one reasons why he’s my hero and I’ll always be grateful for that!!

and last but not least... all the people who help me feel a little less crazy every day - all of you – ok well maybe not ALL of you – but the ones of you who didn’t find me by googling crazy shit like ‘mother raping’ ‘father stabbing’ ‘father raping’ or the most recent ‘nail polish teasing uncle bondage’ – I don’t even want to know what the hell THAT is all about!!

speaking of mother rapers and father stabbers here’s a little musical tradition to help get you in the thanksgiving spirit... p.s. I had to go through a good amount of trouble to get this song here for you so you better listen to the WHOLE thing!! hehehe

Alice's Restaurant - Arlo Guthrie

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!

what the hell was wrong with my mother?

because I have no imagination anymore I have to draw inspiration for all my posts from other people’s blogs – I’ll blame this on my mother… in fact that ties into the whole idea of this post, which brings us back to the origins of my lack of originality – in fact I’m pretty sure I’ve even blogged about this before… but I’m bitter and it’s my blog so I can repeat myself if I want to!! hehehe

in her most recent post, M mentioned a lovely little wrap around culotte outfit her mother made for her when she was a child and it reminded me of my clothes when I was growing up

I didn't get any neat girly things like wrap around culottes... oh no - all of my clothes had to be unisex so that they could be passed down from me to my sister and then down to our two cousins who were boys a year or two younger than us

I may be exaggerating (I don't think so) but it seems like everything I wore from the time I was old enough to remember until I started picking out my own clothes, was navy blue and/or suitable for both boys and girls

even HALLOWEEN COSTUMES!! (ok so this isn't unisex... it's outright male! but it's proof of another thing she did to us which we'll get into later)



apparently she anticipated more children in the family because it appears that this unisex thing began even before there was anyone else to pass clothes down to



of course there are very few examples of my gender confusing attire

here are a couple:






this is because they were very crafty and only broke out the camera on special occasions so that in the future when I confronted them about my hideous unisex wardrobe they could pull out 'proof' that I must be out of my mind!!

why just look at what you’re wearing here... THIS is neither blue nor unisex!!

of course not Mom, it's a BATHING SUIT!!




to tell ya the truth I’m a little surprised they didn’t make us wear navy blue swimming trunks!!

I’m pretty sure the only ‘clothing’ I had as a child that wasn’t unisex was bathing suits and nightgowns but even then I’m pretty sure whatever I wore matched my sister!! – for some strange reason my mother liked to dress us as if we were identical twins (even though we’re a year & a half apart and look NOTHING alike!!)

the only times our clothes weren’t unisex was on days like the first day of school or Easter or Christmas… or whatever other occasion there might be where we had to look cute in front of other people

for these occasions we wore dresses… ridiculously ugly matching dresses – even our hair styles matched!!





so M... you should appreciate your groovy culottes - because it could have been a whole lot worse!! hehehe




* note: my sister would have a cow if she knew I posted her picture (even a 20 year old picture) on the internet

my first kiss....

comments on LiVEwiRe’s most recent post reminded me of my first kiss… it was with my first real boyfriend - we’ll call him Scott… we met when I was 12 and he was 11… I’m sure it was the talk of the schools because I was in ‘high school’ and he was still in elementary school… what can I say? I had low self-esteem! haaaa – but I’m sure it looked GREAT to his little friends!! hehehe

from what I understand he saw my picture in a yearbook and asked his sister (who was in my class) to introduce us… she did, and we were an item instantly… we hung out as much as we could… I spent A LOT of nights sleeping over at my one friends house (even though I usually didn’t really like her very much) because she lived next door to Scott

at first that’s all we really did… just hang out…. and watch ninja movies – lots & lots of ninja movies!! haaaa he was into weapons and the idea of cracking skulls I guess hehehe (we weren’t surprised when he grew up to be a cop)

anyway one day a bunch of us decided to play spin the bottle – I’m pretty sure the whole thing was set up just to get me & Scott to FINALLY kiss – either that or so that one of the other boys could kiss that friend of mine who I didn’t really like – anyway you all know how spin the bottle works - I’m sure everyone has played at least once (everyone but livewire anyway) hehehe GOOD for YOU livewire!! it’s such a yucky game… it’s like a big pot of germ stew!! haaaa

anyway so there we were playing – being as painfully shy as I was/am I was probably ready to puke at the idea of having to kiss ANYONE! but the game was going on whether I liked it or not… I’ve always been a kinda quiet - go with the flow kinda person… even when it made me uncomfortable!!

when someone else’s spin landed on me and they went to kiss me, Scott practically tackled the kid and just about knocked him out!! (I had forgotten about that until just now) – then HE kissed me and dragged me away from the game… romantic first kiss huh? like cave people!! hehehe

he was a VERY ‘dominant’ little kid!! everyone used to give me a hard time about how ‘controlling’ he was… I never really thought about that aspect of our relationship before… but man did he have me wrapped around his little finger!! I swear if I lived next door to him I probably would have packed his little lunch box for him every day and done his laundry!!

in fact I probably did do his laundry once or twice!! haaaa

Scott and I were together for about 10 months… which in pre-teen time is like 4 years!! even looking back at it now, it seems like it was years that we were together!!

I forget why we broke up… I think he ‘cheated’ on me with some little skank his own age haaaa

I remember I was DEVESTATED – I thought I’d never be happy again!! for those 10 months, EVERYTHING revolved around him and I was just lost without him…. in hindsight I’m sure it wasn’t HIM… it was probably more about the attention and control and having that person to focus and dote on (another thing I never thought about before)

being in a small town his name still comes up once in a while… you can’t go anywhere around here without seeing SOMEONE from your past!! and all these years every time he’s come up, I’ve still thought of him as an asshole – because everyone I knew pounded into my head that the way he treated me was wrong – that there must have been something wrong with him… and with me for putting up with that

but now – after writing this… I realize he wasn't an asshole at all - and there wasn’t anything wrong with either of us… we were just kids… being ourselves… and I wouldn't have it any other way!!

girl stuff…

I just got over my period – I thought I was hemorrhaging!! seriously it was touch and go there for a while – I thought I was gonna need a transfusion!! must have had something to do with the prednisone I took a couple weeks ago

now I have a yeast infection!! I itch!! my poor husband may never have sex again!! and I’m taking these damn antibiotics so I can’t even do anything for it!! I know I COULD - but knowing me it would just be a waste of time until I’m done with the antibiotics – just 2 more days!!

my sister was just here with my little niece… she’s the cutest thing I ever saw in my whole entire life… seriously she makes my uterus ache!! I should probably be glad I have this yeast infection or I might want to get my own kid!!

I made egg salad yesterday for our lunches for the week - I asked the spousal unit to bring home bread… he brings home PUMPERNICKLE!! yuck!! what the heck am I supposed to eat? I know it’s bad but for some things I just have to have white bread!! He said he’d stop and get me some on his way home… I hope so!!

since I couldn’t have my eggie salad today, I made popcorn for lunch… I ate almost the entire pot all by myself... I think I might puke!!

other than that I don’t think I have anything else to say today

community...

so M had a post yesterday which brought up something I thought was interesting… the effect that the lack of ‘community’ in today’s world has on sex and relationships

community (or the lack thereof) is something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about!

why?

I don’t know! hehehe

it seems to me that society has deteriorated (and continues to deteriorate rapidly) the more we separate ourselves from eachother – opting for the convenience of technology over human contact (of course I’m pretty sure the modern diet has a little something to do with people’s bad attitudes and behavior but that’s a whole ‘nother post in itself!!)

I know I’m guilty of putting technology between myself and other humans! in most cases I’d WAY rather deal with people through email than in person… or even over the phone… even though it seems to be that often where we once at least had that human voice at the other end of the line, now all we have is a computerized, voice activated ‘system’ which is almost worse than email where all you have is a screen… where conveying any sort of inflection or an actual emotion is virtually impossible

I ‘hehehe’ like a jackass all the time here, just to get the point across that I’m not being overly serious – you wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) the number of times people have mistaken my fantabulous wit for assholiness – and it’s WAY worse online where you can’t see my face!! hehehe

this lack of community has an impact on almost every aspect of life - I think it’s hurting the children – I haven’t done any research on this but I’m pretty sure that even 50 years ago, kids didn’t go around shooting up their schools!!

it seems pretty obvious (to me anyway) that the lack of community has a lot to do with what’s wrong with the world anymore - why everyone seems so damn depressed - I don't think I know anyone who hasn't been prescribed some kind of happy pill at some point… but we all feel like there’s nobody to talk to and if you NEED to talk to someone then you must be weak or something

but we ALL NEED people… human contact is one of the most important elements of life – it makes sense that the less human contact we have the more fucked up we become!!

each generation seems to have less and less manners, etiquette and morals!! people are increasingly more rude and obnoxious… and piggish the more separated and distant we become

but perhaps even sadder still is the way this lack of community is killing off all sorts of cultural activities, art, crafts, styles of music and cooking

and it seems that nowadays it's almost considered 'uncool' if you actually want to spend time with your family or any older people for that matter - even as an adult!! - people look at you like you're nuts if you don't hate your family – it’s as if there’s some kind of pressure to want to distance ourselves from our elders

don't get me wrong I'm not in love with mine by any means... but I DO wish that there was more of a closeness there - somehow!

I wish my great great grandma’s recipe for this or that was handed down to me or that I had some kind of a clue what sorts of things my Polish, German, Irish and Italian ancestors cooked or played or how they interacted

but all those traditions are dying and nobody really seems to care!!

for a while there I was trying to trace my family tree… but sadly nobody really seemed to know much – I hit a road block and got distracted with life and sort of gave up – but I keep all my research in a cigar box on a shelf in the hopes that someday it will help me or someone else learn more about MY clan

if you ask me I think the whole way things are going is pathetic!!

now if only I knew of a way to change it… even in my own little world

checking in…

well I don’t know what the weather is like in your neck of the woods today… but here in kittyville, it’s absolutely GORGEOUS!!!

it must be close to 70º and sunny… the sky is blue… the birds are singing, there are bees and ladybugs flying around – you can hardly tell that snowy days are right around the corner!!

wouldn’t it be awesome if it stayed this way all winter?! from a personal enjoyment standpoint of course… from an environmental standpoint, maybe not so much hehehe but I’m sick of politics, so enough of THAT!!

I actually feel halfway human today… and according to my doctor, who I saw AGAIN yesterday it looks like I’m gonna live (a little while longer anyway)
my chest x-ray came back fine, as did my 24 hour heart monitor thingy that I did last week - talk about uncomfortable!! it felt like I was wearing a really bad bra all day & night!! a really bad bra that clips to your pants and makes using the bathroom REALLY challenging!! hehehe

so my breathing thing is still a bit of a mystery but at least we’re working on eliminating some causes

now she thinks it might be related to acid reflux or something – I’ve been instructed to take nexium – YIPPIE – MORE drugs!! I’m starting to feel like an old person… all I need now is one of those days of the week pill boxes to keep everything straight!!

next thing ya know I'll be taking up needlepoint…

they did some blood work on me a week or so ago which turned up elevated white cells – which means I have an infection of some sort (bacterial she said)
I’m leaning toward a UTI since I’ve been having minor symptoms for a week or two that I thought might be a yeast infection (and she said a yeast infection wouldn't cause the elevated white cells) she would have tested me for a UTI but I can't pee under pressure haaaa

but maybe this would explain my sleepiness!!

at any rate I guess I’ll be starting ANOTHER round of antibiotics tonight – that makes 3 since July!! and that one was a 3 week course!!

I HATE antibiotics!! so I’m NOT looking forward to that… but if I have an infection I have an infection - I suppose the white cells don’t lie… usually
and not for nothin’ but I’d rather have an infection than a condition that makes my white cells increase without actually having an infection haaaa

I watch too much tv!!

anyway… I just wanted to pop in and say something so you know I’m still alive
but now I think I’m gonna go enjoy what’s left of this beautiful day – I hope you do too... whatever the weather

is it just me...

or is this display kinda disturbing? actually, I’m not really sure which is more disturbing... the display or my take on it!!

either way... be prepared!!

that’s what the boy scouts said… and apparently whoever stocks our local quickie-mart was listening!! just when you thought the convenience of convenience store shopping couldn’t get any more… convenient - what with the ability to gas up our cars, choose from dozens of different kinds of beer, cigarettes, lottery tickets and delicious, artery clogging snacks – now apparently this has become the one stop date rape supply headquarters as well!!

just look at this little pegboard display I almost tripped over as soon as I walked in the door...

(clicky to biggy)

it’s packed with all the desperate guy’s Friday night essentials:

condoms – in all shapes and sizes… from normal to huge, wet, bumpy and ribbed ‘for her pleasure’ - something for everyone (from the delusional to the considerate pervert) because safe sex (and concealing DNA) are vital in this day and age!!

pain relievers – incase said date claims to have a headache

horny goat weed – incase she’s still not in the mood

duct tape – incase she’s REALLY not in the mood!!

nyquil – for extra insurance

sun block – incase it’s an outdoor date, I guess

diet pills – incase she could stand to lose a few

little tree air fresheners – incase she needs a shower

pepto bismol – in case the combination of B.O. and ‘vanillaroma’ is more nauseating than expected

razor blades (multi-purpose) incase she needs a shave or he can no longer live with himself!!

ginko biloba (and two other types of energy packets) – to keep him going strong, 'all night long'!

no-doz or vivarin – incase she starts nodding off... or he wants to wake her from her nyquil slumber

ben gay – incase it gets a little rough

neosporin – incase it gets a little TOO rough!!

and last but not least… toothbrushes – because we all know the importance of good oral hygiene!!

I don't know about you - but I could certainly do with a little less convenience!!

YUM!!

I didn't actually want this to be part of that last post - that's what I get for not paying attention hehehe

anyway here it is... AGAIN

the TOTALLY AWESOME VIDEO of the week!!



have a GREAT weekend!!

there's something else that every woman should know about HPV…

ok so you know all those commercials urging us to get PAP tests because ‘many people don’t know it but HPV (human papillomavirus) can cause cervical cancer’ (to me this sounds like a PAP test would tell you whether or not you have HPV… that’s NOT necessarily the case!!)

I know I wasn’t the only one who didn’t know this about HPV and cervical cancer – it definitely got me thinking about how overdue I am for my yearly exam!!

although I assumed that since I’ve had lots of gynecological exams before that have all come back normal, that I don’t have HPV – I KNOW I haven’t come in contact with it since my last exam (almost 2 years ago) – at least I don’t think I have... unless Sam has had it all these years and just never exhibited symptoms… I never even thought of THAT haaaa

they say that something like 75-90% of the population has HPV!! that’s wild!! especially since apparently it’s something you can get even if you use condoms – so there REALLY is no such thing as safe sex!! (just a little something to think about there) but none of this is the interesting thing I learned about HPV

the interesting thing I learned about HPV (that I REALLY think every woman should know about) is that they don’t automatically test for it when you go in for your yearly exam!! they ONLY test for HPV if your regular PAP shows abnormal cells!!

they say this is because they don’t want to cause anyone any unnecessary worry!! excuse me?! don’t you think I should have the right to decide if I want to worry about this or not? who the hell are they to protect me from unnecessary worry?!

they also say that the insurance companies won’t pay for it without a bad PAP unless there’s significant reason to be concerned (whatever that means) I think any time you have sex with someone who hasn’t been tested for HPV you have significant reason to be concerned!!

the thing is you could have HPV for YEARS and not exhibit any symptoms or have any abnormal cells!! – although it’s unclear whether or not you can spread the virus BEFORE you come up with symptoms or abnormal cells

so say you get your exam and you come up fine… you think it’s safe to have sex – you MAY still have HPV (you may have even had it for years!!) but still (at the time of the exam) you MAY not be able to spread it… however - you’re not due for another exam for 12 months (and let’s face it MOST of us don’t go at exactly a year… most of us are lucky if we go every 2-3 years!!)

so you COULD show up with abnormal cells a month after your exam and therefore would definitely be able to transmit the virus – but you THINK you’re clean, because after all you were JUST at the doctor

NO wonder so many people have this virus!!

if they just ran the HPV test with your regular exam it would show up even without symptoms or ‘abnormal cells’ and you could potentially save your partner and his next partner from getting HPV… and possibly cervical cancer!!

so apparently just because I’ve never come back with abnormal cells… my assumption that I’ve been HPV free all this time may not be the case at all!!

the person I found this out from only found out about her HPV because she was with someone who noticed they had an odd ‘growth’ so she decided to see her doctor… they told her they don’t test for HPV unless you have a bad PAP

her PAP came back free of abnormal cells (which means they would NOT have tested her for HPV) but since she insisted that they test her anyway, they did, and the HPV test came back positive!! it’s possible she just got it… but it’s also possible she’s had it for years!!

THIS information is VERY disturbing to me!! so I thought I’d share it with you… I mean why the hell wait until you have abnormal cells? wouldn’t we all be better off knowing if we have a sexually transmitted virus that could cause CANCER, sooner rather than later?!

this whole thing just really irked me… I guess the key is to find out EXACTLY what they’re testing you for when you have your yearly exam and if you want to be sure that you’re REALLY disease free you have to demand that they test you for EVERYTHING!!

screw the insurance companies and the doctors who want to ‘protect’ us!! I HAVE a right to know if I have a potentially cancer causing virus... and so do you!!

HELP!! I’m being accosted by old, blind, money grubbing midgets... with bells!!

seriously!! lately it seems damn near impossible to enter or exit the grocery store without somebody (usually a group of somebodies) panhandling!! isn't this illegal?!

on the weekend it’s the kiddies (or midgets as I like to call them) begging money, usually for some sport thing or other – pee wee football or new cheerleading uniforms or a trip (to some place I’ve never even been!!)

they stand out in front of both the entrance AND the exit, gabbing and guzzling slurpees and being loud – shouting back and forth to their friends at the opposite doorway, basically blocking the entrance (or exit) like a 3 year old making you say the magic word in order to cross – in this case the magic word is MULAH!!

usually the mothers (at least I assume it’s the mothers) are 20 feet away ignoring the kids and gabbing up a storm – paying no attention to the fact that their obnoxious offspring haven’t got a clue as to how to get people to want to donate to their cause

perhaps there should be a seminar for children who are going to gather at stores bumming spare change – I think they’d do a hell of a lot better if they sat at their little tables and presented themselves in a respectable way, with maybe some information about the thing they want people to fess up their hard earned cash for!! instead of this disorganized, unruly ‘give us some money or we’ll hunt you down and egg your car’ kind of method they have now

perhaps they could skip school one day and take a field trip to watch the old time beggars that are there during the week – that’s when you see the elderly, people for the ethical treatment of invalids, veterans, or the Knights of Columbus (whoever they are!) begging money for denture cream, new eyeballs, wheelchairs, a ping pong table in the VA rec room or some trip… to some place I’ve never been!!

they could learn a little something from these people… they at least have manners and don’t get all loud and in the way….

they seem to have two different money grubbing methods – both MUCH better than the midget method!!

method one - sit quietly and look pitiful so people will feel bad and want to help out… or

method two - offer something in return… like the chance to win neat raffle prizes - such as hand made tissue box cozies and crocheted dolls made by blind cripples… you know it’s true too because the blind cripples are there making the dolls while you watch (so not only do you get a chance to win neat and utterly useless handicrafts but you also get a show to entertain you whilst you load your groceries into your car)

I’m MUCH more likely to throw a buck their way!! or at the very least the quarter I get back when I return my cart!!

I wonder though - whatever happened to bake sales, car washes and penny socials?

especially for the kids… I mean shouldn’t they learn they have to work for what they want? granted I’ve never actually been a panhandler and I’m sure it’s not easy work (especially if it’s your main source of income!) but it seems to me it would be far more beneficial to these brats… err kids, to actually learn to do SOMETHING other than stick out their hand

surely they would get more from a sale of some sort – I KNOW a bunch of teenage girls would rake in A LOT more money washing cars then they do gabbing like idiots in front of a grocery store!!

maybe I’m just getting crotchety in my old age or something but to me it’s just IRRITATING constantly being bombarded by beggars every single time I try to get groceries!!

and don’t even get me started on the salvation army bell ringers!! now that it’s November I’m sure they’ll be out there right alongside the midgets and the invalids, deafening us with their super speedy, out of tune, completely rhythmless clanking

maybe it’s time to start looking into grocery shopping online!!