supernova…

ok well first of all… what a stupid name for a band…. especially THAT band!!

a band called super(anything) should consist of majorly amazing musicians - like for example – Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and John Bonham - yeah they could have gotten away with a 'SUPER' name

not Gilby (lookit my pretty hair) Clark, Tommy (lookit my massive cock) Lee and Jason (lookit the t-shirt for my REAL band) Newsted

this band is more like a rusty nova – and the fact that they’re searching for ‘a leader’ through a reality tv show just proves this point!!

wait – for the sake of accuracy I decided to look up the actual definition of the word supernova and have discovered that this is actually the RIGHT word for this idiotic band after all

supernova: the death of something massive (three great bands) resulting in something extremely bright (ok so there are some flaws in this) and short-lived

this is pretty perfect as I’d imagine this band won’t live to put out a second album…

anyway… that was not the point of this post…. today I’d like to focus on Storm Large… that chick totally creeps me out!! – I know they keep her because of her whorish behavior and half nakedness – and I’m sure the fact that she seems extremely bendy doesn’t hurt

to me it’s just creepy… she reminds me of some evil puppet-like thing – wait…. I know what she reminds me of!! (half of you won’t know what the hell I’m talking about… but at least a couple of you will hehehe) she reminds me of Eddie

the way she moves all weird like and those fucking crazy eyes… seriously she’s like the bastard child of Eddie and Blackie Lawless or something

yup that’s it!!

anyway she had to sing to ‘save her life’ last night – woo hoo it’s about damn time!!

she chose to sing one of MY all time favoritest songs EVER!! Helter Skelter – BOO!! I knew she’d absolutely BUTCHER it and I was right!!

half way through – after jumping into the audience like a dumb-ass, she tries to get the crowd to MOSH!! ....to HELTER SKELTER!!!

what an idiot!!

EDIT: I knew if I was patient this nauseating performance would show up on YouTube... nice hat Storm!! did you pull that out of a nightmare?!

Fletch, Fletch I love you...

there’s a handful of movies that Sam has been after me to see pretty much forever… and Fletch was one of them – I’ve always been a little hesitant… because it looked kinda stupid to me… but after he practically forced me to watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles and it turned out to be one of the best things I’d ever seen… EVER - I decided to have more faith in his movie picking ability hehehe - ok so I’m a little behind the times… that’s typical of me – I was probably too busy watching homicidal maniacs eviscerating horny teenagers in the 80’s to care about John Candy or Chevy Chase!! (not that I’m done watching that sort of thing!!)

but its good that I didn’t watch these movies then because now they’re all totally new to me!! man it’s so funny to see movies that were made in the 80’s… especially comedies!! the music is just so awful… the clothes… the cars – crimenies!!

actually I kind of prefer those boxier cars to the tiny pods everyone seems to be driving now

anyway… we found Fletch at a yard sale for like 50 cents or a dollar and I finally saw it last night – he was right, it was a riot!!

ok I’m sure you’ll be looking at your screens like I’m out of my mind now - but I think there is just something disturbingly sexy about Chevy Chase!!

I had never noticed it before, until about a month ago some channel was showing Caddyshack (I like to watch that kind of stuff on tv and see how they butcher it by dubbing over the bad words - my favorite movie to watch ‘dubbed over’ is the breakfast club!!)

anyway…. I’m not sure what it is… there’s just something about him!! – or maybe I’m just nuts....

oh well... that's all

Plan B (a comment turned post)

Plan B (a comment turned post)

ok Whirl had posted about this and my comment became so long I thought I’d better post it here instead

I don't know much about this thing so what I’m saying here is based on the small bits I’ve read or heard on the news while I made dinner last night….

if I’m correct in thinking that it's a pill to decrease the chances of, or stop conception altogether than I don't see how it's much different than condoms or the pill/patch/IUD/foam/diaphragm… etc.

I reckon the people who have a problem with this thing are the same ones who have a problem with those things – people with a moral or religious objection to birth control

from what I understand, even though it's available without a prescription you will still have to ask the pharmacists for it, show picture ID and be at least 18

does that mean that if a younger person is raped or they have open minded parents who 'allow' them to have sex that the parents would be allowed to obtain this pill for them in the event of an emergency?

or will kids be able to hang out in front of the pharmacy waiting for an adult that looks ‘cool’ to go in and buy them this pill – like they do at the quickie mart for some beer?

I have to say based on the limited knowledge I have on this subject I certainly think this pill is a hell of a lot better option than the alternative (abortion)

at the risk of being stoned to death here (I know most of you are probably pro abortion or ‘pro-choice’) I've never been exactly sure how I feel about abortion - never having been in a situation that required thinking about it personally - something in me goes against the whole idea - PERSONALLY (I DO believe in the individuals right to choose though – today anyway… I reserve the right to change my mind tomorrow hehehe)

I do know that many people use abortion as a means of birth control – and I totally object to that (in most cases)

anyway I’ve often wondered if I could bring myself to have an abortion if I ever got pregnant from a rape or something

a pill like this eliminates the need for that mental battle... it's not destroying an embryo - it's preventing the creation of one - it creates a reaction that stops sperm from meeting egg – by either killing the sperm or creating a barrier of some sort (not sure which) – so I guess it’s similar to a spermicide… it’s just a hormonal one instead of chemical

if you think of it that way... what's the big deal? (other than the massive doses of hormones you’re subjecting yourself to)

I assume this pill is not the healthiest thing you can put into your body (not that most people seem concerned with what they put into their bodies, judging by the amount of money fast food joints make and all the ads for medications I see)

from what I understand – ‘they’ are concerned that people will be using it as contraception – beats the crap out of the moronic ideas the girls tried when I was a teenager

but nevertheless maybe if they’re so concerned with it being used as contraception, they should set a limit for how many times an individual can purchase it in a year

or maybe not... maybe it's up to an individual if they want to load themselves up with toxic doses of hormones

but if they’re willing to do that... why not just get on the pill and take the crap in 'healthier' doses, like a normal person??

I heard that opponents of this pill say that there has been no decrease in teenage pregnancies in countries where this pill is available over the counter – could that be because like here they don’t have access to it?

in MY personal opinion (which I’m sure is not the popular opinion) aside from in cases of rape where you had no say in the matter – you’re an idiot if you find yourself in a situation where you need to take this pill (I’ll be generous and say more than once in your entire life)

grow up and conduct yourself in a mature, responsible way and you won’t need massive doses of hormones to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancies

yes shit happens… but how often? I’ve been having sex for a long time and I have never once been pregnant – granted a few of those times I got lucky – but that’s because I was a stupid kid (too young to obtain this pill on my own if it were available then)

the point is if the average adult (because that’s who they’ve limited access to) was doing what they need to do to protect themselves against sexually transmitted diseases they wouldn’t NEED a pill like this for anything other than in cases of rape or the very rare broken condom!!

I DO agree that it should be available over the counter – even if people are going to be stupid and use it regularly as birth control… it’s your body therefore it’s your prerogative!! who is it hurting besides the person taking it?

but that’s just my sheltered, narrow opinion

dreams....

we wake up this morning and Sam tells me he had the worst dream of his life last night…. I asked what happened and he said he dreamed he won the lottery… I said yeah…so…. what’s so bad about that?

then he said ‘I woke up!’

hehehe poor baby!!

I told him I also had a bad dream last night… that I killed Natalie’s (my best friend) dog (a HUGE shepherd mix) I started telling him about the dream and then realized I actually had two dreams where ‘I killed’ this dog!!

first I dreamed that she was out and I was at her house, but it wasn’t really her house it was just a strange house that recurs in my dreams - her mother or some other faceless person was there - faceless people are a dime a dozen in dreams ya know! mine anyway hehehe

so her dog attacks me and chomps onto my left hand, growling and shaking it like a rabbit it means to kill… the fucker was just staring at me and I kept thinking if I tried to do anything she would lunge up and bite my face off – eventually I convinced this faceless person to do SOMETHING… they came up behind her smashed her head in – The End

next I dreamed that Natalie was having some big party and I was at her house helping her get things ready… she had to leave for some reason and at some point I had to put something into or get something out of her car – I opened up the hatch and did my thing… then her mother comes up behind me and puts the dog into the back of the car

a little while later something caused a fire to start in the car and the whole thing went up in flames – dog included!!

Natalie came back but was running around getting this party together and didn’t even notice that her dog wasn’t around (she was probably just grateful to not have her underfoot) – the party is underway and I’m standing there the whole time trying to figure out how to tell my best friend that I killed her dog – The End

I get done telling Sam about the dreams and he says ‘you didn’t kill that dog in either of those dreams’

I know I didn’t but in my head, in my dreams I sure as hell thought I did!!

weird huh?

extra weird since I haven’t seen this dog in months – I saw two dogs yesterday but neither of them was this dog and neither of them bothered me hehehe

even though I think she’s a huge pain in the ass and I can’t stand to be around her I sure as hell don’t want the poor dog dead!! I just want her to stop licking me and climbing up trying to give me bear hugs – she’s huge and hairy and smells like…well…. like a wet dog!!

I suppose if that was the reason for the dreams I could just as easily have been dreaming about my mother in law’s dog (a huge slobbery great dane who likes to foam at the mouth and then shake off on me, leaving these disgusting slimy trails all over me and my clothes!! he then proceeds to sit on my lap like a person… he backs up to me and plants his nasty ass right on my leg!!) YUCK!!

but it’s not the dogs I have a problem with actually it’s the humans who don’t train the dogs properly –their dogs come after me like wet, smelly monsters – and they try to apologize - they say ‘oh sorry - I know you don’t like dogs’

no it’s not dogs I dislike it’s their lack of training… a dog is a wild animal that is only suitable for being around people after it has been properly trained – this means that it will not attack, beg/steal food from, drool on, climb up, hump, sit on, knock over, bark, growl or bite anyone who isn’t a threat – I’m hardly a threat!!

I resent the assumption that I’m a dog hater… actually I love dogs…. I don’t think I want one but I still think they’re great animals if you have the time and the patience… and a brain in your head!!

anyway I hope I have less violent dreams tonight!! hehehe

doodles...

for the longest time when I was bored I would doodle... sitting on the phone listening to someone drone on and on and on… watching tv at night -whatever…. if there was a pencil nearby I'd doodle

when I was a teenager I doodled on the walls of my bedroom… of course my friends joined in and started signing the walls and making their own little drawings - before long my walls were covered with crazy pictures and of course bubble letters galore (teenage girls just love bubble letters ya know) hehehe - it turned into a sort of scrap book - it was pretty cool

more than once I was sent to the office for doodling on the walls or desks at school - I doodled on my pants, jackets, notebooks, lunch room tables, picnic tables, bleachers, lockers, sneakers, skin! - I was always getting yelled at for having ink on my skin - they tried to convince me I'd get some sort of ink poisoning or something haaaa

I don't know what causes all this doodling... just nervous energy I guess

for a while I didn't doodle at all... and it drove me pretty nuts!! a person has to do something with her nervous energy.... besides rocking! hehehe

so last week I picked up a pencil and started giving faces to the people in my head



it's nice to doodle again... maybe it'll help me sit still =)

the real Dr. Dreamy....

last night I had a dream that I was making out with House… well there was no cane so maybe it was just the guy that plays House on tv hehehe

anyway just as I was about to go down on him he told me he had HPV but that the ‘symptoms’ were only at the base of his… umm.... ‘unit’ (I wonder where I could have gotten this from!!) *glares at the guilty party*

anyway then he proceeded to tell me a bunch of statistics on HPV and how easily it can be transmitted etc. I wasn’t particularly fazed… I was willing to continue – hell it’s just a dream after all – nobody ever caught a virus from a dream!!

but something else stopped us – probably the fact that I had to pee, because then I woke up – grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

all the cool kids have one!!

so why shouldn’t I have my very own myspace… umm SPACE
nevermind that I’m not one of the cool kids…. how do I ever hope to pretend to be one of them unless I hang out on myspace?! hehehe

really when I get bored I check out new places to tinker with… that’s how I wound up here and met all you nice people – but I guess due to the mass exodus that seems to have taken place around blogville lately I found myself wandering around over there

so now… in addition to this litter box… err I mean scratching post (as if this place wasn’t boring enough) you can now visit me over there - where I don’t post nearly as often… yet!

it represents somewhat of a not so alter ego… while this place is all pink and sparkly (ok maybe not so sparkly) that place is very…. not pink

but don’t worry… it’s all pink on the inside!!

weekend update #812

first of all if the weather was any nicer this weekend I would have thought for sure it was September!! the last 3 morning the thermometer outside our kitchen window has be in the mid to upper FOURTIES!! and it’s been in the 70’s during the day – how totally PERFECT!! for me anyway… I LOVE this type of weather!!

I just had to go put on a sweater!! WOO HOO!!

SHAKE & BAKE….

what better way to start such a nice weekend than with a trip to just about my favorite place in the whole wide world - THE DRIVE-IN!! – it’s been a kick ass summer for drive-in movies!! as far as first run movies go they’ve been playing a lot of stuff I actually want to see!! it kind of makes me sad when all summer long I check the schedule and all they have is crap, crap and MORE CRAP!!

actually I’m sure lots of people would consider what we went to see as a huge pile of crap but I have to admit – I LOVE WILL FARRELL… if he was any funnier I’d probably die!!

I read recently that he’ll be playing Marshall in the movie adaptation of LAND OF THE LOST – AAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I CAN’T WAIT!!

anyway – we went to see Talledega Nights – which if you like the typical SNL cast member turned movie star type humor you should totally go see – TOTALLY!!

sorry I’ve TOTALLY been channeling P.J. Soles character in Halloween lately!!

anyway… I totally laughed my ass off through the whole movie!!

The Midget Prostitute….

remind me never to leave the house without my camera again!! we stopped at a local quickie-mart on Saturday night… and in walks this man with this tiny little girl… I kid you not I literally took like 4 double takes at this girl to determine if I was seeing what I thought I was seeing… in the end I decided that the best hope was that this poor girl was afflicted with some sort of disorder that made her APPEAR to only be about 12 or 13

she was about 4½ feet tall… perfectly tanned, she had on skin tight jeans – ya know those ones that only come to just below your knee (I forget what they’re called… I’m so not into fashion) she was wearing a tight little v-neck top that showed what little cleavage she had (which was actually quite a bit for a person that size) her hair was nicely styled and her make-up… she wore a little too much for a kid but for an adult it was really pretty nicely done - for a night out on the town

she was wearing these shoes which I think she must have borrowed from her Barbie doll – they looked pretty much exactly like this:

only in some kind of sparkly black - so you could easily see her very adult shade of red painted toenails

she walked around and spoke just like an adult… and I MIGHT have been convinced she was an adult with some sort of lillipution disorder - if she didn’t flip open her phone to call her mommy and flash a mouth full of braces

this was by far the most disgusting example I’ve ever seen of a child dressing WAY WAY WAY too old for her age!!

Flea Market Finds….

the next day we went to a bunch of yard sales and a flea market (my other very favorite place on earth!!)

I got these lovely puppets



so expect an awesomely bad puppet show sometime in the future

I also got this great old window - which I plan on turning into something ‘interesting’ to hang on our one HUGE blank living room wall which right now has nothing on it but a framed poster of Edward Gorey’s Gashly Crumb Tinies

speaking of which… at what point did I stop hanging my posters with thumb tacks and tape and start insisting that they be framed and hung properly?

~ sigh… just another sign of aging I suppose!!

The Severed Leg….

did I ever mention my poor husband’s deformity? it’s really quite tragic… his right leg is extremely TINY – so much so that the only way he can stand without crutches is to rest it on a bench!!



apparently he also has two left feet hehehe just kidding… that’s just another one of my fabulous flea market finds.... a severed leg!!



I only wish I could have located the rest of the dismembered doll!!

The Finale….

what else did we do this weekend… hmmm

well we attempted to watch some very bad porn – that didn’t go all that well… so we gave up and played a nice game of NINTENDO GOLF!!

Sam kicked my ass as usual – I get so confused – I wouldn’t know a 9 iron from a waffle iron!! but it’s fun anyway…. yes I know we’re huge dorks… we like it that way!!

ok that’s all - now GO SHAVE YOUR BALLS YA DUSTY OLD TURD!!

what the...?!

I desperately need a new pencil sharpener…



what the hell am I supposed to do with this??

HELP!!!

I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days now… maybe the way to purge it is to share it with other people – with any luck it will jump out of my head and into one of yours hehehe



WARNING – if you have a problem with nudity or half naked chicks kissing or naughty words you should probably skip this video!!

p.s. if anyone is crazy it’s that guy for dancing around like a lunatic in front of a urinal… what if he slipped in a puddle of pee and cracked his skull? – GROSS!!!

ventilation...

I have another fashion complaint – that’s right… it’s not just the trashy dressing women in their belt/skirts which are so short that if they bent over you could see their tampon strings, who’s ‘clothing’ (or strategic use of accessories) is grossing me out!! ohhhh noooo!!

where I live there are a lot of.... ummm ‘Git-R-Done’ bumper stickers if ya know what I mean and where there are such bumper stickers there are hoards of sweaty men (and not the good kind like that guy from the old diet coke commercials either!!)

you know the ones I mean!! they're all in sleeveless NASCAR t-shirts or flannels that have had the sleeves cut (or ripped) off

don't get me wrong I like guys who are into some 'guy things' and thankfully I managed to land one of the few who wears shirts with sleeves!! but do we really need to see (or smell) these other guys ventilating their sweaty pits?

when I was in high school I had a friend who always wore tank tops (they were still called tank tops back then) or sleeveless shirts – and he was always sweaty!! he’d come up and surprise you with a big bear hug, when he’d step away you could immediately feel his pools of sweat drying on your skin or soaking into your shirt!! there’s nothing worse than needing to hose off after a hug

seriously if I’m gonna need to hose off after contact with another person I at least expect an orgasm out of the deal!!

I don’t think that’s unreasonable!!

so how ‘bout this… the women will wear moderately revealing clothing that gives you a hint of the package but not the whole show - and men, you wear clothes that conceal all that sweaty fur you have under there

then maybe we'll be more willing to let you get near enough to give us a good reason to hose off!!

fair enough? good… now Git-R-Done!!

I'm off to the glue factory....

last night in an effort to be a good little wifey I was outside grilling some burgers for my poor starving husband when it started to rain... I finished up and headed inside - but my cheap rubber walmart flip-flop slid out from under me, I fell on my ass into the garbage can, which was overflowing as it was - garbage fell on me and on the floor - as did one of his burgers... and my right leg twisted up behind me and wound up out the back door - of course he rushed over... rescued HIS BURGERS and I seem to have sprained my knee!!

my back is still fucked up (probably even more now)

because of my stupid stupidity I've gone and gotten myself a lovely little yeast infection... probably from all those damn antibiotics!!

and I'm due for my period... VERY due!!

ever have your period WITH a yeast infection, a broken back and a twisted knee? it can NOT be good!!

there is good news though... Sam isn't hungry anymore!!

my hero....

Dear Mr. Doodypants,

I’m writing in regards to the letter I received from you on the evening of August 1, 2006, addressing my unpleasant mood, which read:

Dear Miss Sweety Pie,

I love you very much. I hope you feel better soon. I want to see your smile & hear your boobstastic laugh.

Bee my smiley boobtastic laughy pants!

Love, Dirk Doodypants

I thought you should know that I very much appreciate your kind gesture – I love you very much too and shall forever remain grateful for your ability to brighten my days!! I’m feeling much better now thanks to your lovely note… you are the bestest friend I could ever imagine – even if your pants are full of poop!!

Love Always & Forever, Miss Pie