alone....

since Sam was working at a furniture store we often had opportunities to get barely used furniture for FREE… they had a policy that stuff that was taken out of people’s houses when they got new stuff the delivery guys could either take or sell on the side and split the cash (now ya know what they do with your old junk when they take it away - us po’ folk pick over it… the good stuff anyway hehehe)

of course I would imagine most people (like us anyway) don’t get new stuff until their old stuff is basically unusable - but around here in the land of excess people seem to get new furniture every season – and as long as we had an opportunity to take advantage of that… well we made sure we did!! it beat the crap out of hoping that if one of your old pieces broke that it would at least happen during yard sale season!! hehehe

from that job we’ve gotten a pull out couch, recliner, lamp, a new mattress for us (which is a really nice posturpedic that seems to be about 2 feet thick hehehe) a whole bed set (mattress, box spring & frame) for my mother, a bed frame for my friend Natalie, and recliner for another friend… we also got a great area rug and some other stuff I’m forgetting

anyway Sam has been wanting a new bed for ages – not that there was anything wrong with our old new bed… or new old bed, whatever but he really only took it out of desperation (our old mattress was shot!!)

he’s really had his heart set on a particular kind of bed for a long long time… to the point of actually daydreaming about it!! but the kind he wanted (a tempurpedic) 'space foam' bed – is insanely expensive – even if we got the bottom of the line in a full it would cost at least $800 (just for the mattress) fortunately we have a platform bed so we wouldn’t need to buy a frame… but still a tempurpedic mattress has always kind of been like a dream for him… something we MIGHT be able to get if all the stars and planets lined up and the car didn’t need any work at the time our tax refund came, ya know?

but can you believe just days before he was set to start his new job - what became available but a tempurpedic mattress!! the people had gotten it for their guest room and decided that they didn’t like it – apparently it had only been slept on like 3 times!! (of course he checked and made sure it was ok since he was leaving there in a few days… they were cool with it – YAY!!) so of course he had to jump on it… even though it meant he had to rebuild our bed frame because get this… this FREE super wonderful spectacular almost new tempurpedic pressure relieving space foam mattress is KING size!!

I’m still not quite sure why on earth two people need so much room… but who am I to complain? hehehe I joked that we'd be lonely sleeping so far apart (little did I know...)

so off we went to Home Depot for the stuff he needed to expand the bed – and to linens n’ things for all the new bedding we needed – I was worried – I know king size bedding can be expensive… I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth but what good is this great new mattress if we don’t have any bedding that fits it?

~ but can you believe we got a king size down comforter for $40?!! and a set of 100% cotton sheets for $20? of course the thread count is less than wonderful but hey it’s a start – I was THRILLED!!

I brought the bedding home and washed it while Sam rebuilt the bed… and that night when we climbed into this thing it was like being in separate universes hehehe – I waved over to him and told him to keep in touch

anyway the very moment you lay on one of these mattresses you can notice the difference… it’s true there are NO uncomfortable pressure points!! it’s kind of like you’re floating yet being cradled at the same time

a while ago when we tried them out at the store (just to torture ourselves) we fell in love… it was the end of the day – I was SO tired and achy and I just wanted to go home… I layed down in a tempurpedic bed for 10 or 15 minutes at the store and when I got up I was raring to go!! seriously – I (who HATE clothes shopping and usually have to be dragged kicking and screaming) said to Sam… hey I feel GREAT… lets go get me some new clothes!!

it was like some kind of miracle bed!! so I was excited about actually owning one!!

and for the first few nights it was GREAT… I slept like a baby, when I woke up nothing hurt (usually I hobble around like a nursing home patient for at least 10 minutes when I wake up)

but then something happened (I’m blaming the lyme disease) something is way out in my lower back and every time I lay down it just spasms until I can’t stand it anymore – so we have this GREAT new bed with all this room to stretch out in – and I’ve been stuck sleeping in my recliner!! this has been going on for about 2 weeks…

I don’t think it’s the bed because I’ve barely been in it at all for at least 2 weeks now – you’d think it would improve by avoiding the bed if that was the culprit, right?

we still have our old mattress waiting to get a chance to deliver it to Sam’s brother (see we ALL live for hand-me-downs hehehe) anyway a few days ago I had Sam set it up on the floor for me – I thought we could have a little slumber party… I miss being near him and sleeping next to him

on one hand I hoped it would do the trick and I’d be able to sleep on it because that would mean I’d get to sleep horizontally again but on the other hand I didn’t want that because I knew that would mean we had a serious problem with the new bed and we’d either have to get rid of it or I’d better get used to sleeping in my chair!!

fortunately… or unfortunately depending on how you look at it I only managed to lay on the old mattress for about 5 minutes before I gave up and went to sleep in my recliner… so doesn’t seem to be the bed - it seems that no matter where I am, the old bed, the floor, the couch, whatever - if I get horizontal it HURTS!! right side, left side, flat on my back, flat on my stomach… it doesn’t matter

I guess it’s just me… my hip is out and it’s gonna take some work to get it back in – I’ve been to the chiropractor a couple times since this all started but still nothing

it’s lonely… when you’re used to sleeping next to someone it’s hard to get used to sleeping alone… even though I know he’s right on the other side of the wall

I wake up in the middle of the night and I just want to reach out and feel his arm or kiss his forehead but I can’t

he’s lonely too… I have to have the tv on to fall asleep - and that usually bugs him
but he’s been sleeping with it on… I guess it makes him feel like I’m there

this morning he came out to wake me up with kisses and hugs and said he misses me – something’s gotta give I’m starting to feel disconnected and discombobulated… I’ve been sleeping next to this person almost every night for like half of my life and I kinda like it that way!!

I don’t like this AT ALL... after two weeks you’d think there would be some kind of improvement… it is considerably better during the day than it was in the beginning… but at night... this sleeping situation is driving me buggy

I miss him… and I can’t wait till I’m all better so I can feel him next to me again!! - I don’t really know what to do but I hope I figure it out soon!!! =)

abusa abimi (little man)

what happens when you mix the weirdness of Sid & Marty Krofft with reality television?

Rock Star: Supernova of course!!

it's surreal... the characters are freakish... each episode is extremely bizarre but predictable... you don't want to watch it, yet you can't look away

ok admit it…. you watch Rock Star - you know that you do!!

and since you do… you know that the most likely pick for a male winner is Lukas

sure Toby is the favorite so far but if history tells us anything it's that the short arrogant one will win… and Lukas kinda reminds me a lot of last years winner, J.D. (who I also couldn’t stand all the way up to the end!!)

and sure Toby is a talented singer but I think Lukas is just as talented a singer… but also has a knack for creativity (just like J.D. - he knows how to make a song his own) - I think he has more to offer

as far as I can tell, the only thing that could end up screwing Lukas in the end is his obvious Pakuni ancestry… supposedly Toby has the looks... all the girlies swoon over him - and clearly Lukas is the love child of Cha-Ka (the midget ape-like creature) and Holly (who was like Cindy Brady's even dumber twin, separated at birth) - from the Krofft classic, Land of the Lost...

and now there's proof (you can find anything on the internet if you look hard enough)

see for yourself... the resemblance is uncanny!! (note the short stature, 'foofy' hair, squinty eyes, bushy cro-magnon eyebrows and giant forehead)

Cha-Ka

Lukas

of course, sadly, fear of paku-bashing has forced him to try to hide his true heritage… in a way which suggests that not only is he hoping to be incognito... but feared as well - here he's clearly trying to disguise himself as a sleestak!!


a random sleestak

Lukas
nice try, but you can't fool me Lukas Rossi!! I know the truth... and now your secret is out.... for the whole 5 people who read this to see hehehe

too soon old and too late smart...

my grandmother collected ash trays and that was written inside one of them... what happened to the days when that message made no sense at all?

seriously... when did I get so old???

recently on our way back from our friday night date (a trip to the chiropractor) we stopped at Dairy Queen for a burger – next to dairy queen is the roller rink were all the kids hung out when I was a teenager – me and Sam met there a million years ago – being a Friday night there were a bunch of kids outside – we sat there and watched them for a few minutes… we joked around that we should go there sometime… we both laughed our asses off and said NO fucking way!!

on the way home I said – isn't it kinda sad? it’s Friday night and our big excitement is to get our spines adjusted and wolf down a burger before heading home for me to watch Ghost Whisperer and you to sit in front of the computer!!

in my head I FEEL like I’m about 8 years old – but I keep noticing all these signs that I’m so NOT!!? I used to think, when I saw an old person shaking their head, that they had parkinson’s disease or something but now I’m starting to think it’s just a reaction to life

for example when I wake up in the morning it takes at least 10 minutes before I work out all the kinks and am able to walk instead of hobble – I know there was a time when I did somersaults, climbed trees and bounced around like Tigger on crack – now it’s a chore just to psyche myself up enough to go out and get the mail!!

and speaking of mail… when you’re a kid you get so excited when you get mail – it doesn’t even have to be anything special… it could just be time to renew your highlights subscription… whatever – it was a banner day!!

now my eyes light up when I see the mailman go past without stopping at my box – no news is good news!!

what? who said that?!

~ I shake my head and roll my eyes at the person stuck at the light next to us who’s stereo is thumping so loud I’m concerned about my own hearing… not to mention theirs!! – I used to blast Metallica, Iron Maiden and Slayer so loud in my ears it shook my brain and knocked my fillings out – even with my walkman on people would complain my music was too loud

now I just want to shake some sense into these people… granted I think it’s more the kind of crap that they’re blasting than the actual volume that bothers me… perhaps if they were deafening themselves and everyone within a 4 mile radius with something like Bad Company or Rush and NOT some hip hop crap I’d be able to tolerate it better

~ when I do make that rare and dreaded trip to the mall (my former home away from home) I want to puke or strangle someone when I see what the kids are wearing – especially the girls… boys always dress funny but damn… seriously if any of these young girls was mine I’d shave her head and lock her in a closet before I’d let her leave the house in some of these outfits!!

in my day (ugh did I just say that?) the kids were mostly either preppy or… not preppy (where I come from the not preppy kids were called ‘heads’)

the not so preppy girls (like me) wore tight jeans, usually black and concert t-shirts… some kind of high top shoe – we also wore jean jackets, they were usually written on with band names, boys names, messages from friends etc. (mine said Sam & Kitty across the back waistband) and things like

and METALLICA RULZ!!

I won’t even mention our crazy hair!! - sure we looked ridiculous - but we didn’t look like prostitutes!!

the girls these days… I’ve seen them as young as 11 wearing little shorts or jogging pants that say foxy or flirt across their ass!!

ohmygawd!! no fucking way would I let my 11 year old loose at the mall all decked out in hooah make up like some reject from a bon jovi video – in too tight pants (or too short shorts) with the word FLIRT in giant sparkly letters across her ass!!

seriously it’s a good thing I don’t have kids because if that’s how kids want to look then I’d be one of those moms that wouldn’t let my kid out of my sight!!

when the hell did THAT happen?

speaking of the mall… did I look that ridiculous with my friends when we were ‘hanging out’ – seriously when I see these groups of kids (who all look to be about 12 by the way!!) hanging out in front of the mall, chewing gum and smoking cigarettes with their 8 pounds of make-up and pimply faces I just shake my head and laugh

surely I looked WAY less silly – RIGHT?!



I mean aside from the dorky shirt (it MUST have been laundry day!!) too tight jeans, giant sunglasses (which I was NEVER without!!) and that awful hair I didn’t look too ridiculous did I? hehehe

I don’t care… I didn’t look AS stupid as these kids do!!

I don’t really know what my point is here… I guess I just don’t know when I got to be such a crotchety old person!! and curiouser still… why I like it!! hehehe

call me crazy but I'll keep my comfortable clothes, somewhat sensible shoes, flat hair and quiet nights at home - it beats the crap out of hangovers, not enough sleep, achy feet and deafness!!

and that's that!! so I guess I'll just keep shaking my head until some stupid kid thinks I have parkinson's



and now - some music worth a little ringing in your ears...

I think I have an idea for the next bud light radio spot!!

Sam paid a little visit to the Kittyville 'Novelty' Shop the other day and unlike usual he didn’t walk out empty handed – what he got is not important… what IS important is that we NOT forget to fill out our warranty card!!

it’s very comforting to know that, should this toy be somehow defective we can clean it up a bit and send it back in it’s original packaging with proof of purchase (because apparently the fact that you have it to send in the first place isn’t proof enough) with a check for $10 (exactly what this particular toy cost in the first place) and we can get a brand new replacement toy that may or may not be the same but will at least be similar to the defective product



I’m sorry but I have to draw the line at saving the package my new dildo came in!! if for no other reason than I don’t think ‘examine returned defective sex toys’ should be part of ANYONE’S job description!!

I mean seriously… imagine you work for Doc Johnson (I assume in a lower level position) it’s Monday morning, you have your morning coffee and sit down to look at your to-do list and as you skim down the list of chores you realize that today is defective dildo examination day - 'UGH!! not again!!' you'd think 'MORONS!! if I ran this company I'd put more money into quality control and less into pretty pink warranty cards'

what do you tell your spouse when you get home and they ask how your day was?

gee honey, it was swell... first I had a cup of coffee and then I sifted through a mountain of defective dildos... you won't believe what I found...

how does a defective dildo examiner determine whether said dildo is really defective or if the purchaser used it for something other than it’s intended purpose (which according to the package is STRICTLY for novelty!!)

do you put on some latex gloves (incase the returner didn’t clean it like the warrenty card suggested)

do they put on goggles and take a close look at all the fine details and notice that fake vein number 12 is missing or that it’s slightly less stiff than it should be

do they try it out for themselves?!

WHAT? I want to know!!

and WHAT do they do with the returned items? do they clean them up proper and repackage them? do they offer them up to their employees as perks? do they melt them down and make new toys? or somewhere in North Hollywood CA. is there a dumpster just loaded with defective sex toys?

I’d like to meet the person diving into THAT dumpster!!

my guess is they could save A LOT of time and trees by eliminating these warranty cards altogether!! because even if someone would consider filling it out… the minute they realize it’s a big pink post card addressed to a SEX TOY COMPANY I doubt they’d have the balls to stick it in their mailbox and raise the flag!!

anyway... I salute you Mr. Defective Sex Toy Examiner Guy!! - now don't forget to wash your hands!!

...somethiiiing smells funnyyy

I was dreaming when I wrote this...

I just woke up so this probably won’t make much sense…

did you ever have a dream you can’t quite make out – but it left you with a super yummy feeling? or do you have one thing that if done, you become instant putty?

I had the weirdest dream - strange thing is I think it was somewhat inspired by this ‘controlling’ husband on wife swap

there was nothing particularly special about him (other than his command of the house) and I don’t recall that there was anything particularly special about this dream - my dreams are usually very fragmented… much like the rest of my thoughts

anyway… one small thing occurred in this dream that is kind of like my Achilles heel – first of all this person had great control… he knew what he wanted, when he wanted it and he knew exactly how to get it (something that in theory sounds GREAT… in reality – as far as I’m concerned anyway – would probably cause problems)

I’m not talking sexually - just in general… their home was like a well-oiled machine – everyone was disciplined and calm – but not in a cult kinda way hehehe

sounds good so far right? of course since it was a dream I didn’t get to stick around long enough to see how all that discipline really worked as far as everyone’s individual identities were concerned – a perfect balance would be extremely difficult to achieve!! especially with such a pain in the ass as me!!

all I know is this person pretty much had me at hello… he was the kind of person people follow but they don’t really know why - and at one point he whispered in my ear to get me to do something – again nothing sexual… he just wanted me to get him his camera - but it's more about the way something is said... not so much the actual words

he put his mouth right on my ear – you know the kind of whisper I mean…. it's not much of a whisper at all

maaan if you get right up on me and put your mouth right on my ear and I can feel your breath hot on my skin and your lips moving, I’m likely to do just about anything you say – (well not YOU… ahh you know what I mean) hehehe

I almost melted into a puddle on the floor… I think I would have crawled through fire to get that camera...

but that's all I really remember...

anyway… I don’t really know what the heck I’m talking about but it was one of those dreams that makes you not want to get out of bed so I thought I’d write it down

now... just because I can



because I LOVE this song and I LOVE Jack White and I LOVE Jack White singing this song!!

popularity…

I was laying in bed this morning and for some reason this topic popped into my mind - popularity has never been particularly important to me… do I want people to like me? uh… sure I guess… but everything in moderation, ya know? I certainly don’t care if everyone likes me… I KNOW that they won’t!! I can be kinda hard to take at times!!

I don’t particularly want people to NOT like me… indifference is perfectly fine in the case of the majority – I mean, have concern for me as I would have concern for you as a fellow traveler in the universe – but for the most part I don’t care if people notice me… strike that – I DO care if people notice me and I’d prefer it if they didn’t!!

I was certainly NOT the most popular kid in school… I had friends – we had fun… still I always felt like kind of an odd duck – it seemed to me that everybody else had MORE friends (maybe a lot of kids felt that way, who knows) – at times it was kind of lonely… but for the most part it was all I could handle… I had a lot on my mind for a kid

I was talking with someone recently about what seems to me to be a stronger than normal need for acceptance (on their part) – every time they do something they seem to need feedback… preferably positive of course – and they seem put off whenever they don’t get the acknowledgement they feel they should - but maybe his need for acceptance isn’t stronger than normal… maybe he just expresses it more

to me that seemed kind of self centered… and a sure way to invite disappointment – of course we’re all self centered in a way… but I guess if you require something like acknowledgement (or anything else for that matter) it’s best to let your feelings be known!!

in my family (not including Sam) people don’t express what they need they only express resentment for not receiving it – and that certainly isn’t healthy!!

I say that this person expressing his desire for acceptance or acknowledgment is an invitation for disappointment… because where I come from if you express such a thing you would be told that ‘life isn’t fair’ or ‘yeah, nobody has ever acknowledged me either – get used to it!’ as if that’s acceptable!!

while this person’s expressing his desire for acknowledgement - and disappointment when he doesn’t get it… or pride when he does (which is a whole ‘nother curiosity to me) seems strange to me

he’s told me on more than one occasion to quit being so self deprecating… apparently we all express our lack of confidence or self esteem differently… on one hand I really do think I suck!! on the other hand I know if I say it often enough, SOMEONE will disagree and tell me so!!

although he claims he only wants acknowledgement as assurance that he’s done a good job as opposed to crappy or just satisfactory I guess, not to boost his confidence but just to know his effort was noticed and appreciated - I had really kind of gotten on his ass about it, because sometimes it seems to me he does things just for the accolades – and I’m sure he does – sometimes! I think we probably all do in our own ways when we need a boost

of course we all want our efforts to be noticed and preferably appreciated – some of us just seem more interested in the acknowledgement than others I guess – anyway like I said I had really kind of gotten on his ass about it – until I realized that of course I desire a pat on the back once in a while too… if I continuously did things and never heard a single word of positive feedback I reckon I would eventually stop doing those things – as opposed to other’s who would strive to do things better hehehe - I’m not up for the challenge, if I suck I accept it (because that’s what I expect) and move on, I usually can’t be bothered trying to improve

I was saying that I do plenty of things for which I rarely receive praise… or acknowledgement for that matter… I do them because I want to (like blogging) or because I enjoy it (like drawing or cooking) …or simply for the satisfaction (in my own mind) of knowing I did SOMETHING helpful or useful or kind

but I thought… everything I do I do for a reason and if I cooked for people and they never told me what I made was good – eventually I WOULD stop, even though I enjoy doing it… because in the end what would be the point if THEY don’t enjoy it? so in a way I guess he is right… I do seek acknowledgement

(today I expect acknowledgement for the most times using the word acknowledgement in one post!) hehehe

one thing I find interesting about blogland is that it’s like a weird kind of text version of a huge reality show… it’s a lot like REAL reality… people are people after all - but it’s a lot different too!!

people feel free to be themselves… but they accentuate the positives and eliminate the negatives – of course we all do that all the time, here and ‘out there’ the difference is… here people are paying attention

unless you’re agoraphobic or something you kind of have to participate in the world ‘out there’ but THIS we choose to participate in… some people just kinda want to do their thing and whoever sees it sees it… but to some people it’s a total popularity contest!!

that’s one thing I’ve never understood, bloggers who go out of their way to increase traffic or get MORE comments… comments, comments it’s all about the comments hehehe (and if you fit in this category, relax I’m not saying it’s wrong I’m just saying I don’t understand it)

we all have our reasons for being here, whether it’s exhibitionism, voyeurism, attention, support, reassurance that you’re not alone in whatever you’re feeling… whatever

it’s just interesting to me - this whole blogging for popularity…. sure comments are nice, there’s a reason why we (mostly) all allow and encourage them… I wonder how long I would actually keep up with this blogging business if nobody ever acknowledged my presence here, because when it comes down to it I guess MY reason for being here (other than to vent) is for attention… to know that someone (other than Sam) notices my existence

I guess I just don’t understand the act of actually actively seeking that acknowledgement… to ME it means so much more when it’s genuine ya know?

when someone stumbles along and relates to something you’ve said – expresses concern or appreciation or just stops to laugh with you or cry with you – if something you’ve said turned them on… or turned them off for that matter - either way it meant something real…

I guess my point is… to me it’s quality NOT quantity that’s important, with everything in life (except for maybe food… I DO like to eat!! and a burger fills my tummy just as well as filet mignon) hehehe

but seriously I don’t understand the idea of the whole popularity contest thing… I didn’t understand it in high school… and I don’t understand it here – and I probably never will

I'm falling apart... maybe I should change the name of this place to 'my bad health blog'

cute ain't he? he lives in my back yard... I named him Stewie - he looks innocent enough... lookit those big brown eyes... those big floppy ears - you just wanna pet him and feed him corn from your hand right?

but all over his soft brown fur crawls big danger!! TINY little arachnids called deer ticks

how can something this small cause such big problems??!

I’m pretty careful about doing tick checks!! the main reason we have chickens is because they eat the ticks… unfortunately we live in a VERY ticky area… I think I mentioned before that just about everyone you meet here has been treated for lyme disease (just one of the lovely diseases those creepy little critters carries) at least once

I had it once about 10 years ago… I did 3 weeks of antibiotics (which made me feel even worse at first!!) and I’ve still had issues with my joints ever since – especially my neck – at times it feels inflamed… I guess the best way to explain it is to say that from my shoulders all the way up my neck feels like a giant swollen gland!! it’s very achy and stiff… I also get more knee pain than I used to ever since I had that case of lyme disease 10 years ago… of course I’ve gained weight and gotten older too, so that MUST have SOMETHING to do with it hehehe – but anyway that’s why I’m so paranoid of ticks

when Sam suggested we not have chickens this year I told him I wouldn’t spend much time outside or do any yard work if we didn’t because it’s almost impossible to even take a quick walk in the back yard without getting at least one tick on you

so sure it’s a beautiful place to live but it definitely has its drawbacks!!

a couple weeks ago when I mentioned Sam having to go to the doctor because we thought he might have lyme disease (the doctor wasn’t sure without a test but offered him a prescription anyway which I told him to take even if he didn’t plan to actually use them, because ya just never know when you’re gonna need some antibiotics!!) – I was sitting in the office with him and I noticed a dime sized red bump near my shoulder – I thought ‘heh looks like a mosquito bite but I better keep an eye on it’ and so I did… every day I kept an eye on it as it grew

this is how it looked after one week…



and this is how it looked yesterday… at about 8 cm across



I FINALLY decided to say screw it and do something…. I figured I couldn’t deny it anymore…. I couldn’t just keep hoping it was a really weird mosquito bite and that all my aches and pains and general crappy feeling was all just because I’m (over)due for my period… but the doctors office was closed so we went and got Sam’s prescription filled ($38!!) and I started taking that…

Of course little miss paranoia couldn’t just be content with the gift horse I had (the exact right antibiotics without a doctors visit) oh no!! I had to be sure I actually needed them (even though I knew damn well I had the damn lyme disease!!) I wanted the doctor to just check my blood pressure… and I was gonna just tell her I’m 99% sure I have lyme disease – I’m taking Sam’s antibiotics (just to be sure all was well as far as my regular medication and everything… don’t wanna take stuff that doesn’t go well together ya know?) but when they heard I thought I might have lyme disease they insisted I actually be seen (not just have my bp checked) they said they have to document all lyme cases with the health department and stuff – that makes sense

she took one look at my rash and said ‘oh yeah that’s a lyme rash alright!!’

aren’t I the worlds longest most boringest story teller? hehehe

she wrote me a prescription for exactly what she gave Sam – which I had started already… and sent me on my way… but now I can at least stop worrying about what to do if Sam actually decides he needs the antibiotics – and I can stop worrying about if I made the right decision… and everything else I was worrying about…

so how do I feel?

every joint in my body aches, if I move around at all I feel like I’m roasting from the inside out!! even just standing there doing dishes has me dripping with sweat!! I’m irritable… the kind of thing where you just keep rubbing your arms and legs – ya know that irritable feeling you have when you get a bad cold or something? I’m kinda headachy, my blood pressure is up, I’m tired, every little thing just wipes me out!! my brain isn’t working, I’m confused and having a hard time concentrating

it’s hard to describe the feeling of trying to sleep because I’m very restless, and my brain is doing funny things… ya know that thing where you’re starting to nod off and your thoughts start turning dreamy? I’m in and out of that state a lot during the night… I guess because I’m kinda feverish and restless and in pain and none of those things are exactly conducive to a good nights sleep

but now that I finally got my head out of my ass and started this medication I should really start to feel better within the next few days or so (I hope)

unfortunately on this medication you have to avoid dairy and prolonged exposure to the sun… I’m not sure which upsets me more… no grilled cheese sammiches or no real time outside for a whole THREE weeks!!

but if it gets rid of this damn disease I’ll get over it!! I'm just grateful I actually got the rash - you don't always!! but with it they can diagnose you without the $200 test!! - without it I may not have gone to the doctor or started taking medication at all... and who knows what kind of horrible problems I would have ended up with then...

my advice... even if you don’t live in an area known for lyme disease – do tick checks when you go in the woods or grassy areas or if you have pets that go outside – you do NOT want this illness… no way – no how!!