bukkake, monkey dung and church - oh my!

Ok so I thought I was all done talking about porn…. then I was looking through an old folder I have marked ‘funny stuff’ and I came across this recipe for....

BUKKAKE COOKIES!

At a place called PORN BREAD – here you can also learn how to make a: vagina danish, penis pretzels, ejaculating éclairs and a bunch more other strange things you never wanted to see! I needed a laugh so I just had to share hehehe maybe for Sam's next birthday I'll make him this (as a cake instead of course) ...whaddaya think, I'll have the family over for a big old slice of bukkake cake - you have no idea how tempted I am to do that!!

I think next time I go to a Halloween party I’m bringing Franken-Cocks

Ok NOW I’m done talking about porn!

Moving on…. The drama continues and I think I’m reaching my breaking point! I don’t know when the huge pile of monkey dung is expected to land on my house but I think I see it casting it’s shadow just over the creek!

I’m so tired!!

I’m actually looking forward to Sam’s cousin’s wedding on Saturday even though it’s gonna be long, probably not air conditioned and boring as hell…. I’ve never been to a traditional Polish Catholic wedding before but I hear I better be prepared for severe boredom – and since I’m bordering on narcoleptic, the anxiety of being stuck in a social gathering at a hot sweaty CHURCH might just put me over the edge hehehe I told Sam I was planning on bringing my electronic Yahtzee game and sitting way in the back!
I know Sam is gonna hate being there!! I think he has nightmares about going to church as a kid hehehe

Maybe amid all that kneeling and standing and kneeling and sitting and kneeling nobody will notice if I just keep kneeling there and…. err ummm ok maybe not…. All that slurping might be distracting!

I’m kinda hoping that spending the day at a wedding reception might help break up all the yuck that’s been going on around here with my sister, my cousin and the father in law – it’s bad enough when one person close to you is having serious problems but THREE separate branches of the family tree about to snap simultaneously!?!?! I mean what the fuck?!?!

Anyway I’m thinking a day at a happy event might help lighten the mood around here a bit…. Sam on the other hand is one annoying phone call phone away from running into the woods and never coming out again. I hate when he gets this way… I don’t know what to do about it…. very little seems to work to distract him or cheer him up. And to top it off I seem to be in PMS hell so I have very little patience. I flip flop between wanting to curl up in a ball and hide in a corner and just wanting to be tied up, blindfolded and fucked into next week! I don’t mean just fucked I mean twisted, pulled and used…. hard!

Unfortunately I don’t think Sam is in any kind of place to play that game right now…. so I think I’ll just go clean my house – that’s what I seem to do best when I’m wound up…. If something doesn’t give soon I might actually have this place looking half way decent hehehe

more porn....

I was just over at pureedthought getting a much needed chuckle (perhaps I’ll explain why it was so needed later) anyway the idea of cum flying everywhere was mentioned. Which made me think….

After my recent post about porn I was talking with Brian about the recurring shots of cum flying everywhere. And we wondered how often this happens in real life. I can say in my adult life (because as teenagers who has any control) this type of porno cum shot all over like a fire hose sort of thing has probably only happened a handful of times (my husband has a nice little video of the time it shot right up my nose) – anyway now I’m curious….

Let me start out by saying I’m not knocking porn…. I’m just curious about certain aspects of it

As someone who’s not a big porn watcher – I usually spend more time commenting on the color of nail polish or the shoes… or the unsightly butt blemishes. I’ll spare you my commentary on the sad state some of these people’s, ummm…. orifices seem to be in. I wonder what it’s all about…. I’m sure that there are many people who watch this stuff that truly get none in real life so this is pretty much their only encounter with anything even remotely sexual… do they think that this is how sex really is most of the time?

Do most people aspire to this sort of thing? I don’t know what it’s like in California but here in semi-upstate NY the likelihood of the local pizza delivery guy being ravished by 4 horny girls is well… slightly less likely than the idea of him being stiffed for real! – I would think he’d be more likely to have someone attempt to pay by smoking a joint with him than him EVER getting laid on the job.

But on the off chance that this sort of scenario actually does come up… what are the odds that these 4 girls would actually be having a slumber party in expensive lingerie… AND be cute?!?! Here is where the unsightly butt blemishes come in… they are probably the most realistic thing going on in porn! hehehe

Another recurring thing that always gets a laugh outta me is the mysterious missing fingernail… more common in 80’s porn when press on nails seemed to be the in thing! you have a hand full of bright red fingernails with one blank space where the nail is missing…. If you’re REALLY lucky you got to see the point at which the nail flung off (probably blinding some poor camera man or ‘fluff girl’ off camera)

Another thing I’ve noticed in porn (and this may just be because Sam is into the great outdoors) but ok the outdoor scenes – they have whole collections of strictly outdoor scenes and that’s fine I’m all for fresh air, and apparently fresh air is necessary with some of these people because there is almost always at least one scene where the poor girl involved is constantly tormented by a fly buzzing her crotch…. Now I don’t know how many ‘scenes’ these girls shoot in one day but it seems to me it would only make sense to allow them to shower in between sooooo what’s up with the flies? And at the very least, can’t they be edited out? All I can think is ‘that must be terribly distracting!!’ of course the men seem completely unfazed by this – perhaps they’re used to flies buzzing their underwear hehehe

Which brings me to another thing…. have you ever seen these different series done by one company – for example 3 guys travel Europe looking for the best blowjob or whatever…. They have girl after girl putting on totally slutty outfits for them and testing their ‘skills’ – so far so good, right? …. But did you ever notice that these girls all wear the same 5 outfits all mixed and matched? PLEASE tell me these things get washed between girls!!! Ohhh maaan I know they probably don’t (which might explain the occasional fly problem)

Well that's my time for today…. Tune in next time when I’ll be sharing my thoughts on philosophy and religion - hehehe just kidding

see ya tomorrow.... same bat time - same bat channel

oh before I go... in an effort to satisfy NSM....
the soundtrack song of the day:

Enjoy Yourself ~ Lee Press-On and the Nails

scratch

well I finally managed to pick up a pencil and do some doodling.... I've had a bug up my butt for a long time to draw all the characters who live 'down the rabbit hole' and I decided to start with the Cheshire Cat…. It kinda loses something between the scanner and here but what else is new? ….anyway here it is:

just click to see it bigger....

Well it’s hot as fuck today!! Me & N were thinking of hitting some yard sales but screwwww that!! step outside for 2 minutes and you can feel your eyelashes cinging…. Did ya ever see the episode of the twilight zone called The Midnight Sun – where Earths orbital pattern changes and it’s moving closer to the sun (or so we think) ….paintings start melting, you see the mercury shoot out the top of the thermometer, the people are just constantly soaked with sweat – you get the picture – I swear that’s what it feels like outside this weekend!! I don’t deal well with hot weather!! – when I was 20ish I wanted to move to Alaska… that may have been because I was totally hooked on Northern Exposure at the time… damn that John Corbett was/is fucking HOT!!

Anyway I think I’m gonna try to get Sam to take me to the beach tomorrow… or build me a pool!! hehehe – I swear my first big splurge once I win the lottery…. an indoor pool!!

I've been being lazy about my wake up songs so here's todays... I had been listening to Morphine last week for the first time in a long time.... it's one of those bands that I love but never think to listen to... anyway I don't know why after all these days I woke up with this song in my head but here it is:

Scratch ~ Morphine

I was once sitting on top of the world
I really had things in my hand
But something went wrong I'm not sure what
And now I'm sitting here at home alone
People they want to give you free advice
Well that's something that I always try
But you get what you pay for that's what I say
And now I'm paying and paying and paying
I lost everything I had
I'm starting over from scratch
I lost everything I had
I'm starting over from scratch
Everything I wanted cooking on the stove
Everything I needed right in the home
I had the best thing you can have
You can have it you can have it now
I lost everything I had
I'm starting over from scratch
I lost everything I had
I'm starting over from scratch
Wiped that smile off my face
Put me down in my proper place
But the world just keeps on spinning around
And I'm still hanging around in this world
I lost everything I had
I'm starting over from scratch
I lost everything I had
I'm starting over from scratch

men, porn and morning sex

**WARNING** this post contains information (of a sexual nature) that may make certain people uncomfortable!!

MEN:

let me just say, I really like men! If there was ever any question about my sexuality (which I doubt)
I think about this pretty regularly (men, not my sexuality)

If I’m stuck going through road construction or waiting in the car in a parking lot and a totally ordinary, reasonably attractive man is going about his business, getting his mail, or returning a movie, whatever – I wonder what’s on his mind.

I’ve spent enough years listening to men tell me how little action they get, they must see me coming a mile away. I’m always a sucker for a neglected male ya know.

So I watch them and think, I wonder if his wife or girlfriend knows how much time he probably spends online talking to other women about how badly he needs to get laid.

Then I start to think about how he’d react if I just walked up to him and whispered in his ear how I was watching him and wondered how his cock would feel between my lips.

Yes Sam I do think these things when I’m not engrossed in one of my electronic monopoly or yahtzee games. – See ya learn something new every day!

There’s just something about men, they act all strong and tough but underneath they seem like they just want to be taken care of. I don’t really know what it is… but sometimes when I just see them there running errands or working outside…. it makes my mind go all mushy!! hehehe then it starts wandering off into all sorts of strange and naughty places.

I can just picture them kinda shy at first from the initial shock of me walking up and whispering to them and then when the reality sets in as I purrr in their ear and they ease back onto the seat of their truck and I start to undo their pants…. they would kind of groan at the feel of my breath hot against their skin as I flick my tongue at their slowly hardening cock… I’d look up at him still a little dazed but getting over it as he watches me holding eye contact with him while I slowly suck him deep into my throat….

There I go getting distracted again hehehe – well anyway you get the picture

When it comes down to it more often than not I would much prefer to hang out with men. Maybe it’s because with a man you know the deal…. You know if you bend over they are either looking at your ass or your tits. That’s fine with me, there’s no hiding my tits so what’s the point in trying anyway? I’ve been known to be a little bit of a tease at times. I often have MUCH cleavage on display, if some guy sits there wondering how it would feel to slide his cock in there who am I to complain?

hmmm anyway I just felt like half assedly expressing my appreciation for the male of the species…. so if you ever see a girl sitting alone in a car watching you, just remember she may have more on her mind than what to make for dinner!

PORN:

Sam had off yesterday and we didn’t get much done but we did manage to watch a movie, white noise… it was pretty good I guess – not great but good enough to keep me watching, it left ya feeling kinda icky though…. Sam’s solution? PORN!

He looked through the shelves of movies and came across some terrible old porno from like 1984 … I have no idea where it came from or how it got here. Perhaps the porn fairy brought it for him. It was an actual movie if ya wanna call it that, with a story line which as pathetic as it was, was certainly a welcome change from the more current movies out there with nothing but clips of cum shots

Don’t get me wrong… I very much enjoy getting a face full of cum in the moment. But for some reason watching it over and over somehow grosses me out!! Then there’s the ATM (ass to mouth) another thing you didn’t see a lot of in older porn, that I could certainly do without! Haven’t these people ever heard of E. coli?

And what is up with all the spitting?!?! Ok I wouldn’t mind being spit on within reason, not that I usually require much help in that department. But do most men get off on all this saliva? There must be some reason why it shows up over and over again in these movies. Maybe I’m missing something. If so please explain it to me cause I’d really like to know!! hehehe

I’m not a big porn watcher at all… I’m not usually one to put a movie like that on by myself, but if I were I think I’d MUCH prefer to see the lesbian stuff. Which is kind of odd because I’m NOT into chicks at all… Not that I would rule it out as an option I just don’t see it. I’ve never been the least bit physically attracted to a woman… whereas men as I stated above, I find myself drooling over the most ordinary of, in the middle of the supermarket.

But there’s something about lesbian scenes in porn that just seems more appealing to me. maybe it’s the fact that there’s considerably less spitting.

As I write this I’m thinking ‘what am I nuts? How could watching two chicks go at it be better than seeing some guy ram his cock into them?’ it might have something to do with the fact that most men in porn look like trolls they dragged out from under a bridge because they were the only ones with the ability to keep an erection through 3 hours of cutting to maneuver bodies into the right position. Who knows?

Anyway I’ve rambled on enough about this…. Moving on!

MORNING SEX:

Normally I’m not a morning sex kinda person… I usually reserve it for birthdays, anniversaries or times when I made a sort of promise the day before that somehow fell through.

This morning was one of those times…. Sam had been bugging me for a blowjob for a couple days and yesterday was to be the day… I do NOT like him to have to bug me for this…. But sometimes the stars don’t line up quite right, ya know? Shit happens! - somehow life or who knows what kept stepping in the way. Then at some point I got a yucky stomach (some kind of lovely PMS related thing I’m guessing) and I fell asleep. Like BOOM one minute I’m awake and the next I woke up and it was at least an hour later and there was Sam trolling away online doing who knows what… I can only guess. I felt really bad! But what could I do? And after all we did have sex the night before so neither of us was THAT bad off. Hey I’m not the one that suggested he watch porn!

This morning when I got up it was way too early to wake him up so I decided to let him sleep for a bit, fully planning to surprise him with the wake-up-blowjob in a couple hours. When I heard his alarm go off I shook my head at myself and went in there, since it was too late to wake him up I flopped down on the bed next to him, kissing his belly and tracing my fingers over his semi hard cock. We joked around a bit as I continued touching and kissing him. Until evidently his need to pee overrode his need to cum.

While he was gone I curled up on my knees with my arms folder under my chin, ass in the air. Not for any particular reason, I’m just comfy in that position in my big cushy bed and I lay like that a lot. This is not an invitation but he often takes it as such!

Today must have been one of those days. He comes back in and before I even knew he was back on the bed he had my panties pulled over and his fingers shoved inside me. I looked back and said ‘hey what do you think you’re doing mister?’ I think he told me to be quiet as he continued stuffing me with his fingers. Then he grabbed this somewhat large vibe and shoved it in me, turning it on & off again every few seconds, which always makes me kinda crazy. He wasn’t really the least bit gentle and that was fine with me! then he shoved his cock in alongside the vibe, totally filling me and stretching my to capacity. I love when he does that, It hurts but god it feels sooooo good!!

I have a thing for being really overstuffed once in a while!

As he’s fucking me and I could feel the softness of his cock against the hardness of the vibe both ramming deep into me, almost tearing me apart.... all I could do was whimper. Then he grabbed my hair and yanked my head back and I screamed. God I love it when he pulls my hair like that, it’s usually enough to make me cum right then and there! He kept fucking me hard and deep and I was bucking back against him trying to force him in even more… I knew he was about to cum; it rarely takes very long in the morning. Then he shoved my head down into the bed… It was good that my face was buried in a pillow because I was screaming pretty loud by then, feeling his hand against the back of my head like that shoving me around made me cum so hard! I bucked back hard against him just wanting more and more and then he grunted something I couldn’t understand as he started to cum… I just wanted to have his cock inside me all day. He slumped against me sliding it from me. I just wanted to have him there inside me like that… even for a little while longer as he grew soft again and caught his breath… but he had to get ready for work ~ sigh oh well!

Then I realized… wait I still owe him that blowjob!! Hmmm maybe tonight ;)

double feature

it was a long, long weekend!! by the time last night rolled around I had swallowed two excerdin, 3 motrins and a zantac because the motrin would like to eat a hole through my stomach!! I don’t know what time it was but at some point I fell asleep in my super comfy cushy chair… at some point I must have shoved my blanket off because I woke up around midnight with something crawling up my thigh… I was only alert enough to whack at it, then I noticed my cat was at my feet as if she was after something. About a minute later it was back on my thigh… I looked down just long enough to notice it was a spider and I whacked at it again. this time I found it on the floor and attempted to squash it with my shoe (I have slightly more courage when I’m not quite awake yet) the fucker took like 4 HARD whacks before it stopped moving and trying to get away!! granted I was using a slipper instead of a shoe but if someone whacked me on the head with a slipper like that even once it would certainly stop me in my tracks!!

Anyway I was very upset…. My sanctuary… my comfy old chair is TAINTED!! I shall no longer feel safe from the terrible spider monsters again!! I left his bent and withered carcass on the rug as a warning to all the other spider monsters who come near…. And I charged off to bed with my trusty flashlight, peering into the corners and under the covers chanting ‘ DEATH TO ALL SPIDERS’ I had Sam come and help me look and hooray!! The coast was clear so I climbed up into bed and got all snuggled in. but when I closed my eyes all I could see were spiders…. big spiky legged, hairy ugly spiders!! so I yelled out to Sam… ‘Daddy Daddy I can’t sleep!! The spiders are eating my brain!!’ he came and gave me a kiss and turned out the lights… as he was leaving he went to close the door but I wouldn’t let him!! I needed to know he could hear me yelling if the armies of giant fanged spider monsters waged another attack!! Somehow, some way I managed to fall asleep…. And I slept and slept and slept!!

Saturday…. I found out my father was coming down to help J with something so I thought I should do something for him for father’s day (usually he’s lucky to even get a call) so I spent most of the morning baking cookies, he’s always bugging me for cookies! He stopped by in the afternoon after spending the day with my sister and was about ready to pull his hair out. He complained about that for a while and expressed concern over whether or not her husband might try to hurt her or their daughter.Then I got to listen to an hour long tirade about how none of the people where he lives have any teeth and how he’s so lonely and there’s nobody worth dating etc. then my mother came over because for some reason she likes to interrupt our brief and seldom occurring visits. And they got to talking about what an ill matched pair they were and how my father managed to ‘slip one by her without a condom one night’ which is how they ended up with J, to which my father replied by pointing to me and saying, this one was a baby and it had been a while, I was horny!I shook my head and said I never ever want to hear the sentence again as long as I live!! Nobody should ever have to hear either of their parents complain about how horny they are or ever were!!Anyway while I was making the cookies for him I thought I can’t make cookies without having extras for Sam aka Cookie Monster…. And so that meant I had enough to send down with my mother and aunt who were going to visit my grandfather. Or so I thought…. My mother called my aunt to suggest that they go down together since they live a stones throw from eachother why should they take two cars all the way to long island, aunt agrees and they plan for my aunt to pick my mother up between 3 & 4. Anyway long story short mom and aunt were to meet at a park & ride and drive down together (at least a 2 hour drive) but they got something screwed up and my aunt called me THREE times in a 10 minutes span asking where I think my mother is, with each call she sounded more and more frantic. I thought if my mother didn’t show up soon she was literally going to wind up and spin off into outer space!!Finally after she had been waiting about 10 minutes (hardly a long wait by my standards) she calls to tell me to tell her she left and is going down without her. To which I said, completely drained at this point by the energy she was shooting out through the phone and into my brain ‘look I have no idea what you think I can do but I’m not playing this relay game, you’ll have to call and leave her a message because I refuse to deal with this crap!!’sadly enough this relay game is something my family is quite fond of, especially this aunt!! She can’t get it through her head that it’s not a good method of getting messages to people. I have made it abundantly clear for years that I refuse to take part in it any longer, to the point of actually sending out written invitations to each and every person every time I have a simple little dinner at my house so’s to avoid any more confusion like the time my aunt got so pissed at my sister for not being told she was getting married (in a 5 minutes ceremony at the town hall) that she refused to speak to her for a year.My aunt of course got tweaked with me for demanding my fucking peace & quiet and well I haven’t heard from her since. Mom didn’t end up being able to go which means my grandpa, who at this point is probably wondering what the hell has happened to his nice little family, didn’t get his cookies or the sappy little letter I wrote him for father’s day.Now I have to give the cookies to the father in law which means I have to go over there and probably listen to a 3-hour recitation of the book of revelations or something…. That is pretty much where I’m headed when I finish this. I don’t know if I can take it!! hehehe my family is driving me insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!It was a long, long weekend!!

what classic pin-up am I? - and other stuff

I'm a sucker for a stupid quiz, so how could I resist this one?


You're Brigitte Bardot!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ok well one of the problems with me is that I have a tendency to not stick with things. knowing that about myself, when I started this thing I didn’t bother to do any of the obvious things to make it look more like well… me. but it looks like I might be sticking around for a while so I thought it was about time I went ahead and spruced the place up a bit. So bear with me while I work through all the usual glitches associated with this stuff. I’m really pretty dumb when it comes to this kind of thing hehehe so if you notice anything screwed up, let me know and I’ll try to fix it.

weird dreams & stuff

WARNING: this post involves child abuse so if you don’t want to read about that sort of thing you should probably just come back tomorrow when I have lighter things to say ;)

a little background:

when I was about 4 my parents split up and we moved a couple hours north of where I was born, to live in my grandparent’s weekend/summer home. Not long after that my mother met a man who turned out to be a pedophile. And whaddaya know, we all moved into his house in the next town over (about 10 minutes away) I was about 5 by the time we moved. He proceeded to abuse me, and as it turned out, my litter sister ‘J’ for oh pretty much ever. Most of which I have no real memory of, one of the few things I do remember is that when he’d appear at my bedside he’d claim I had been crying or having a bad dream and my mother sent him to check on me (this was all part of his ‘your mother knows’ mind fuck) so anyway I guess that’s where the crying bit of the dream (below) comes in. anyway….

When I was in 7th grade I discovered he had been doing the same thing to my sister. I found this out because one day I came home from school and the whole shit house had gone up in smoke! She had told a counselor at school! Believe it or not I had no idea he ever touched her and I don’t think the thought ever crossed my mind. In fact I’m pretty sure I never thought about any of it really outside of my bedroom. It was just like I was another person (but still tweaked by the goings on if that makes any sense) anyway long story short my mother appeared to be shocked (to this day I’m not convinced she wasn’t aware) we were basically told to tell the authorities that we had overreacted and that all that really took place was that he walked around the house in his underwear, where this came from I have no idea!! – but anyway POOF they took off and we continued to live there for over a year. She claims she was on top of things to make sure nothing happened but, and I’m not sure but I think he had lost interest in me by that point anyway because I was already well…. lets say too mature for his taste.

However I’m quite sure if she had been on top of things to MY satisfaction, there’s no way we could have gotten away with the rebellious crap we pulled such as sneaking out in the middle of the night. Or at one point we had a full on drunken party IN the house while they were asleep. I mean my sister snuck into their room and stole my mothers wallet to pay for a taxi to bring a bunch of boys over from a couple towns away (where we went to school) we had like 6 people over and were all drunk and shooting pool at the opposite end of the house. I don’t know but it seems to me that a bunch of drunken 13 year olds shooting pool can’t possibly be quiet! Haaaa anyway so that’s how on top of things dear old mom was. She claims she was biding her time, siphoning what she could from the business in order for us to have a better head start when we did move. Stunning example of how to be a responsible adult wouldn’t ya say?

Once we moved out she did make somewhat of an effort to rectify the situation, by dredging the whole thing back up in an attempt to sue him!! I’m sure there was nothing selfish motivating that move haaaa ~ rolling eyes

Anyway the police were back, along with some other advocacy group, questioning both me and J. we told our stories again, they said they believed us but that there was nothing they could do because the statute of limitations had run out (uh something that perhaps they could have brought to our attention before we had to sit there and dredge the whole last 15 years of our lives back up?!?!) but they did manage to be able to put his name in some computer as a suspected sex offended until my sister turned 28, which meant if anyone else came forward by then his name would be on record. Obviously that never happened, apparently he’s got some way of getting people to keep their mouth shut (I have no idea what it is but I’m quite sure I never would have said a word!!)

Around this time it came to our attention that he had another woman with kids living in his house. The authorities were made aware of this and questioned them but nothing came of it, nothing other than the fact that the boy allegedly tried to kill himself a couple years later, citing the pedophile as his reason for doing so. I have no idea whatever became of those kids. But at some point she did leave him too.

This is something that he’s been doing for decade upon decade, he told me once he did the same things to his own 3 kids although they deny it, but they know it’s true. Not that I’m any kind of expert but they all show classic signs of abuse.

One night shortly before we moved out, his son who is about oh geez I don’t know 5 years older than me??
I can’t believe I don’t know how old he is; I pretty much grew up with him! Anyway one night in a drugged and drunken stupor was threatening to kill his father and or himself, running around covered in blood from a mirror or window he’d punched out. He came into each of our rooms and hugged us and said ‘I’m doing this for you’ …but then the paddy wagon or whatever it is that hauls people in that condition off to the hospital showed up and took him away. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t left.

So anyway the gist of it is…. since I was 4 I’ve always lived within 5 miles of where I’m sitting right now, and this person owns a business literally down the road from my house and he lives like two houses down the road from his business. I can’t go up to my sister’s house or to the post office or the drug store without going past his house and store. For years after we moved out he basically stalked my mother, he broke into our house on several occasions, tampered with my mother’s car, among other things. When my mother’s business burned down the fire department showed up and asked where he was, suggesting that perhaps he had set the fire. But as far as I know he’s moved on, or at least I hope so!!

Anyway this was meant to be a brief history to help you understand this dream I had last night but I don’t talk about this stuff much so I guess I had a lot to say!!

Anyway onto the dream….

The setup: I live next door to my mother, if you are facing my house from the road to the left is fields and woods to the right is my mother’s house to her right is a neighbor.

I went out my front door and was half way across the driveway when I realized it didn’t catch when I pushed it closed. As I was turning around to go back and close it I saw my cat poking her nose out, I yelled at her to ‘back it up’ meaning get back inside (she’s an indoor cat but if you leave a door open she’ll escape) she didn’t listen.

Then suddenly coming out from around the trees alongside my house comes the pedophile of course I was startled. I said something along the lines of ‘uh what the hell are you doing here’ and he said ‘she was crying’ meaning the cat I guess. I said ‘how the hell do you know?!’ and he said ‘because I watch you’ to which I said ‘well that makes me very uneasy, I really wish you wouldn’t’ (uneasy is an extreme understatement of course but for some reason I was remaining very calm) we talked for another minute or so about the fact that he watches me and that I don’t like it but I don’t recall exactly what was said. He agreed very calmly kind of with his head hung, that he understood that it upset me but I’m not sure he actually agreed to stop.

Then I started off in the direction I was originally headed and he followed in order I think to get into his car, which was in the driveway of the house on the other side of my mother. (a place he used to park to watch us when we first moved out nearly 20 years ago)

I went over to my mother’s house as he was rounding the corner toward his car, and I told her what just happened but then it gets blurry, I don’t really know what she said to me. then I went back to my house and I was thinking along the way that I didn’t lock my door and I wasn’t watching so for all I know he’s in my house now. But I went in anyway, shortly after that Sam got home and the first thing I said was ‘we have to move…. far enough away!!’ and I told him what happened, I also don’t really remember that conversation but if it was at all based on reality the fact was we can’t afford to move.

Next thing I knew I was out back and it was dusk (it was pretty much dusk through the whole dream) and all I could think about was that HE was probably at the edge of the field watching me again. Then I woke up for the day

it's very rare for me to have a dream that even comes close to flowing smoothly or making any kind of sense so I thought I'd take the opportunity to put it into words.

the song I had in my head when I woke up this morning from this dream was The Ballad of Curtis Loew - but I've posted that before so I won't bother doing it again.

more creepy crawlies and other junk

Ok well apparently yesterday’s rantings will have to wait one more day because I have more up to the minute BS to rant about

First off if the spider I mentioned here the other day wasn’t bad enough I swear his steroid pumping cousin stopped by for a visit today!! When will these creatures learn that every single one spotted within 10 feet of me meets with a splattered and untimely demise? At this point I refuse to watch Charlottes Web ever again…. I refuse to have ANY sympathy for these disgusting creatures!! And the first person who tells me that they are good because they eat other bugs can fucking bite me! – listen other bugs I can handle… most of them anyway but the day I meet a spider that can eat a cockroach (possibly the only other bug that disgusts me even close to as much as a spider) is the day I fucking move to a place with an altitude or temperature that can’t sustain life. I swear I will move to fucking Jupiter if I have to if I ever run into such a spider!! hehehe

This morning I’m going about my business, on the phone with J, which is a whole other story that I’ll get to in a minute. I look down and what do I see but the most ugly blackish freaky looking spider I think I’ve ever had the displeasure of coming in contact with!! Even worse than the one that was… gulp…. ON ME last week!!

I swear I was on the verge of a fucking nervous breakdown while I was talking to her!! I’m preparing to pack my bags because I swear I cannot deal with these things!! All I could do was close my eyes and shake my head and repeat over and over ‘I can’t deal with this shit!!’ she claims since she bore a child she has no fear and would have come down to kill it for me if she had a car. Well I’m not prepared to suffer through 46 hours of a tiny person being ripped from my loins in order to lose my fear of spiders but hey if someone else can do it I’m not gonna complain! In the end I wound up calling my mother and asking her to do it for me. she comes over and sees the thing which I pointed to from the opposite corner of the room where I was cowering and biting my nails at this point. She says ‘boy you sure do get the big ugly ones over here!’ no kidding lady now kindly lower my rent so I can afford a fucking exterminator or a plastic bubble to surround the place with huh?!?! Anyway the creepy little bastard is DEAD now but if they keep up like this, increasing in size and creepiness every week I’m going to suggest the house be condemned and possibly burned to the ground in order to destroy any possibility of the colony growing and or spreading, because clearly they are a mutant race of giant spider monsters, preparing to take over the world!!

so for NSM since I didn't use it last time and for Brian who for some reason loves The Who

Boris The Spider ~ The Who

look, he's crawling up my wall

black and hairy, very small

now he's up above my head

hanging by a little thread

Boris the spider

Boris the spider

now he's dropped on to the floor

heading for the bedroom door

maybe he's as scared as me

where's he gone now, I can't see

Boris the spider

Boris the spider

creepy, crawly

creepy, crawly

creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

there he is wrapped in a ball

doesn't seem to move at all

perhaps he's dead, I'll just make sure

pick this book up off the floor

Boris the spider

Boris the spider

creepy, crawly

creepy, crawly

creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

creepy, creepy, crawly, crawly

he's come to a sticky end

don't think he will ever mend

never more will he crawl 'round

he's embedded in the ground

filling a void

Well I had a lot to say today… as it turned out it was way too much so I’ll hafta put it on hold until tomorrow I guess. In the meantime someone emailed this to me so I thought I’d use it to fill space until I have time to really ramble….
So here ya go… more useless information about me!!

Three Names You Go By:
1. betty
2. brownie
3. honey

Three Screen names You Have:
1. kitty
2. ginger
3. gingersnapped

Three Things You Like About Yourself:
1. I guess I’m a good listener
2. my giving nature
3. my ability to break things down logically

Three Things You Dislike About Yourself:
1. how much I let things get to me
2. my need to fix everything
3. my inability to focus/ pay attention/concentrate

Three parts of your heritage:
1. italian
2. irish
3. german

Three Things That Scare You:
1. being alone
2. not being able to take care of myself
3. spiders

Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. water
2. sound/distractions
3. attention

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. shorts
2. t-shirt
3. panties

Three of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment):
1. boy it’s hard to pick just 3 hehehe ummm Led Zeppelin of course
2. Bad Company
3. Stevie Ray Vaughan

Three of Your Favorite Songs at Present:
1. Blue Orchid (White Stripes)
2. Burnin’ Sky (Bad Company)
3. Life By The Drop – Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble
(obviously I don’t watch much MTV huh?) hehehe

Three New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months:
1. read more
2. chat less
3. spend more time being creative

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given):
1. security (not necessarily financial)
2. structure
3. someone who can put up with me – I can be hard to deal with at times
(I have all three)

Two Truths and a Lie:
1. I think about sex A LOT!
2. I collect owls
3. I never lie

Three Physical Things About the Opposite Sex (or same) That Appeal to You:
1. hands
2. voice
3. height

Three Things You Just Cant Do:
1. math
2. anything that has to do with math
3. drive

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. movies
2. chatting
3. yard sales/flea markets

Three Things You Want to do Really Badly Right Now:
1. find something good on tv
2. have sex
3. read a book

Three Careers You are Considering:
1. I’m not considering any careers but I might not hate writing children’s books
2. making greeting cards
3. if I could afford to possibly lose money I would want my own drive in movie theater (actually that’s my dream – if I won the lottery or something I would open up a bunch of old drive ins and run them the way they were meant to be run)

Three Places You Want to Go on Vacation:
1. Hawaii
2. Italy
3. Holland (I had to pull this last one out of my ass… I really don’t have much of a desire to travel – not that I wouldn’t love to go along for the ride if someone else had some place they wanted to go)

Three Kids Names:
1. Benjamin Frog (don't ask)
2. Ruby
3. Jamie

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. make a difference in a child’s life
2. make a horror movie
3. get zen hehehe

Three Foods You Love:
1. meatloaf
2. chicken tikka masala
3. ribs… mmm drippy, yummy falling off the bone ribs!!

Three Foods You Won’t Eat:
1. veal
2. any kind of organ meat
3. sushi

Well this wasn’t a huge waste of time now was it?! haaaa

my wandering mind

So I have this strange desire to be fucked into oblivion by Paul Rodgers ya know ‘the voice’ (I have a thing for voices) – so what if he’s old enough to be my father…. Something tells me he’d be totally hot!!

Other people I think would be totally fucking hot in bed (or on the couch or the kitchen counter... wherever):

~ John Bonham – ok maybe not these days but I bet when he was alive he would have been amazing… I could watch him pound on those drums all day long and never get bored…. I’m sure my panties would get plenty wet though!!

~ Dave Grohl – ok so I guess I have a thing for drummers too.... look at him, he’s absolutely adorable and funny as all hell… so what if he makes goofy faces at you when he comes up for air!! hehehe that’s the kind of break in concentration I can handle!!

~ Matthew McConaughey – again the voice… geez louise!! listen to him…. As if he wasn’t fucking hot enough without that voice and that adorable accent!! – he was almost even hot in Dazed and Confused Good lord... he rates about an 11 on my HOT-O-METER

~ Matt Dillon – I’ve had a huge crush on him since I was a kid and it hasn’t gone away…. I love that adorably dumb, like he smoked too much pot as a child thing he’s got goin’ on plus look at him – damn man… he was almost even hot in There’s Something About Mary

~ Stevie Ray Vaughan – ok so I know he wasn’t typically what you’d consider great looking but there was something totally sexy about him. Probably the voice again haaaa –ok apparently I seem to have a thing for dead guys too I guess.... maybe I should be worried about that

~ Kevin Spacey – definitely the voice and just the way he speaks – plus he’s absolutely hysterical - why I think I might have even enjoyed being fucked by Verbal Kint

ok so I have kind of weird taste what can I say?

a hairy scary monster

**WARNING** this post contains information (of a sexual nature) that may make certain people uncomfortable!!

Wednesday again already huh? well we had that yard sale last weekend and I managed to make something like $75 which if I didn’t owe $50 of it to N would have been pretty nice!!

So the other day after our yard sale was all over with I came inside and sat down, pretty much right away I felt something crawl over my right ear and I promptly whacked at it and looked down to see long brownish legs on my shoulder I whacked some more as I did a little dance and tore my shirt off… I whacked so hard I flung my glasses across the room!! (hey if I didn’t whack at it, that spider was surely going for my jugular!!)

Once I was done screaming and tearing off my clothes I looked down at the floor and I was unsure of what I was looking at – I had to get a flashlight because it was so dark in the room and I just couldn’t register that an arachnid of that size could even exist in Kittyville!

When Sam came back in he thought it was just awesome that I was half naked… he gets this glazed look in his eyes and starts drooling straight away!! I dragged him over with the flashlight and said LOOK AT THIS - LOOK WHAT WAS JUST ON ME!!!!! The stunned monster was still on the floor… he glanced down but had to do a double take, then he said HOLY SHIT! – this did not make me feel any better!! He grabbed something – I believe it may have been an anvil… it seems like that’s what he would have needed to take this creature down. He smooshed the poor motionless bastard into my rug, which has now left a rather large stain. A forever reminder of the day a spider so large it actually surprised my husband, crawled across my body!!

I flung my arms around his neck and sighed… myyyy heeeero

And thought.... he deserves something nice for saving me from certain death - But, I quickly thought, not tonight I’m fucking exhausted!!

The next day however… it had been at least 2 or 3 days since we so much as touched eachother, even I was getting a little antsy!! I thought ok time for that reward… I spent the whole day teasing him and he was obviously getting pretty frustrated by that… I didn’t really intend for it to be an all day affair but life gets in the way ya know?

By the time evening rolled around he pretty much demanded I get over there and drop to my knees OR ELSE… while the prospect of ‘or else’ intrigued me the idea of feeling his cock in my mouth seemed better. I toyed with the idea of or else for a little while though but it wasn’t long before I was doing as I was told. His pants were undone before I new it and I took him in my mouth trying to savor every last second because it had been a few days so I knew it wouldn’t take long.

I looked up at him as I rolled my tongue up and down his throbbing cock before I sucked it in practically swallowing it into my throat, he leaned down to remind me I had just eaten so maybe I don’t want to gag myself…. that was very nice of him, I thought… and I continued sucking him in even deeper. This went on for a while, me licking at him, sucking him, flicking my tongue at his balls as I sucked them in to my mouth, looking up at him groaning down at me. He felt so good in my mouth I didn’t want to let him go. And as his hot cum boiled over, shooting into my throat I sucked at it trying not to miss a single drop, a little bit leaked from my mouth… dripping down my chin but I quickly caught it with my finger and pushed it back in. I rested my head against his thigh and smiled. All better? I asked… but he wasn’t quite ready to speak yet. I just kept smiling as I got up from where I was sitting and went back to my big comfy chair.

We spent the rest of the night watching movies… it was a really nice day!! The perfect way to say goodbye to a really long weekend!!

too busy to let the 'little girl' play

Well leave it to me to over extend myself when I’m the busiest. And why do I always feel so little girl-ish when I’m so overly busy?

Even though I know I’m planning a yard sale for this weekend I still said yes to watching E this morning while J went to her therapist. Even though it took time that I really couldn’t spare it was nice to spend time with her, especially since I’m feeling very ‘little girl’ lately. We colored a couple pictures together; well she scribbled some lines on the paper anyway. I tried to help her but boy does she get pissed when you do that!! I was just decorating her squiggles with some polka dots and each time I did one she shot me a nasty glance and scribbled hard over them hehehe after this happened a few times she grabbed the bag of crayons and stomped toward the living room door chanting ‘buh bye… buh bye’ ok ok I get the hint!! hehehe but every time I tried to color my own picture she took the crayons out of my hand.

All I’ve wanted to do for days is veg out in front of the tv, coloring. But the house is a pigsty!! This afternoon I compromised and watched ZOOM while I had a little snack mmmm Nutter Butters!!

As soon as I got home from watching E, I HAD to do the dishes!! Then I had to go out with N and hang up flyers for the yard sale. Then right away I had to go out and get some groceries because I blew that off while Sam was home (I really should have taken care of that then) but we were trying to do our traditional anniversary thing (dinner & a movie) while we had the chance. Instead we ended up getting a pizza deal (large pie, 20 wings, 8 garlic knots and a 2 liter) which feeds us each dinner and at least one lunch each so that was a good idea since we had NO food in the house otherwise hehehe – and thank god for movies on demand!! We ended up getting a movie called Suspect Zero, which was actually pretty good.

Anyway I’m getting off track here. After grocery shopping I HAD to make the road signs for the yard sale so me and N could go get them hung up. Last year we TRIED to pawn that job off onto someone else and it ended up biting us on the ass!! So that’s done and here it is nearly a quarter to 6 and I haven’t started dinner, the house is still a pigsty and if I don’t take a shower ASAP my skin is going to crawl off my body!! And what am I doing? Sitting here blogging… GREAT job Kitty, way to manage your time

Maybe if I go get some burgers on the grill and hop in the shower I can get some of that much needed vegging out time with my crayons and stuff. I’m trying not to deny myself that time because if I feel like I need it I must feel that way for a reason, right? It’s just very hard for me to feel comfortable with ANYTHING when my house is in such disarray!! Keep your fingers crossed that I manage tomorrow well or I see myself headed for full melt down by the end of the weekend hehehe when all I really want to do is hang out with N and relax while I unload all my excess junk on my neighbors hehehe

I have quite a bit of crap to unload this year too!! When N started talking about doing this again months ago I thought, what could I possibly have to get rid of after last year? But it turns out, A LOT!! And I’ll actually be thrilled to see it all go!! I’m so tired of the clutter…. Our old apartment had SO much storage that our actual living space didn’t look cluttered at all. But boy were we wrong, as we discovered when we had to move!! haaaa we don't have so much as a tiny little closet to hang our coats in here. Well we do now, a free standing one mom gave us. That actually helps quite a bit, and after I get all the crap I plan on selling at the yard sale out of it, it will help even more!! hehehe

I’m a fabric hoarder, which basically means I buy or hold onto every piece of used fabric that’s in any sort of decent shape. leftover fabrics from blankets, pillows or curtains I've made, vintage fabrics I've gotten at thrift stores. You name it I probably have a scrap of it in my bag of tricks. Being all Martha Stewart-ish I figure I’ll always find a use for this piece or that piece, and often times I do. One year I made us each new Christmas stockings, and one year I made everyone spice-filled trivets for Christmas, which I gave them each with a mug and my homemade cocoa mix. I made both things out of some old flannel pajamas. And one year I made Sam a double-sided sleep mask out of some old satin and velvet (which now is used more to blindfold me than for him to sleep through a sunny morning) but that’s ok!! hehehe but so I do come up with uses for this stuff but how much fabric do I really need? Certainly NOT a queen size comforter bag full!! Plus who knows what else, it seems every box, table or footlocker I look in has some kind of fabric scrap hiding in it hehehe I don’t like to sew THAT much!! - boy I sure am giggly today

Awww J just brought E over to try to get a picture of her with her very first OREO which is of course all over her face, mouth, hair, clothes and hands – she looks absolutely adorable!! now I’ll be able to put her picture in my photo album next to my picture with MY very first Oreo!!

Ok well I better get going – time for dinner and a shower – I’ll be super busy for the rest of the weekend probably so I’ll be quiet but I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say by Monday morning!!

~g’night