my day

Well yesterday was Sam’s day off - sort of…. He FINALLY had his CDL test…. and he passed it OF COURSE!! He’s really the best driver I know… alright well that’s not really saying much hehehe Anyway I’m happy that now he can cross another thing off his “TO DO” list that has been on there for a long time!! And it didn’t even cost him a dime – of course now that means on his days off he’ll be working for them in the afternoons – at least until some time in June… that’s not really THAT far away though

Anyway so that is done and over with – WOO HOO!!

So when he got home yesterday he wanted to go out to lunch… who am I to complain hehehe We went out towards the mall and had Indian – it was soooooooo yummy – we did the buffet which is good cause I can never make up my mind…. So I had a little dopiaza a little tikka masala and a little tandoori – I just love it when the tikka sauce mixes in with the dopiaza sauce – and of course I had my kheer – I’m like some kinda of kheer junkie – I swear that stuff is like crack!! If I had some right now I’d be eating it for breakfast hehehe

After that we went to get some clothes – we started out thinking of going to H&M to get something for Sam to wear to his mother’s wedding thingy but instead we went and got me a few pairs of shorts and a couple shirts – he got a couple pairs of shorts and a few shirts too… well we didn’t get anything for the wedding but we’re certainly set for bumming around the house all summer!! Haaaa – we spend $61!!!! – good grief – that seems like an awful lot of money for 5 pairs of shorts and 5 shirts!! Sam convinced me I should get a new night shirt so I did…. It’s cute it has GRUMPY on it hehehe

Eventually we made it home and all we had to eat was leftovers from the night before… so we ate that and attempted to watch survivor but the stupid president interrupted – did you know that in order to transport natural gas it has to be turned into a liquid… because it’s easier to move a solid than a gas or some insane shit… since when is a liquid a solid??!?! When it’s an ice cube??? – what a fucking moron – good grief!! I couldn’t care less about his politics but as far as a president goes it would be nice to have someone in there who at least made it through 5th grade – and what’s with all the nicknames?!?!? It’s like he was always the one picked last for gym and now he has to show how cool he is by calling everyone by a nickname - anyway this speech threw off my whole recording schedule hehehe - By the time it was over I seem to have missed the OC – they better re-run it!! now I hafta watch survivor tonight – I REALLY NEED TIVO!!! – I just read that they will air this weeks OC back to back with an all new OC next week… how can I tape CSI and the OC?? - Stupid presidential conference!!!

I had about 15 calls on my caller ID yesterday and I didn’t return a single one!! Woo Hoo!! That is actually a major thing for me…. I’m very proud of myself hehehe – well anyway the laundry won’t sort itself so I’m done here

Somehow I didn’t have a song this morning…. I probably did but started talking before I could pick up on it haaaa

Harden My Heart

god could I be more of a dork? When American Idol was on Tuesday night I wanted to take a bath, well actually Sam wanted me to take a bath – he said I needed to take some time to relax – so he said he’d turn the tv up so I could hear it while I was in there which was incredibly sweet because I know it had to have been too loud for him to relax – but so there I was taking a perfectly nice bath hoping Bo would come on at the end so I could see him and what do they do but put him on second… and I had to get out of my nice cozy bath just to see him hehehe
he kicked ass and he was totally HOT! I don’t care what that twit Simon says those glasses were adorable! hehehe – so I’m watching the rest of the show and when Constantine came out singing How You Remind Me – within 3 words I knew he was done for…. It was painful to hear!! So much so that when that kid who looks like his parents might have been cousins did his thing and Simon told him to pack his bags even I was shocked!! If I thought that kid did a better job that Constantine then Constantine must have SUCKED!! – so I was NOT surprised to see him go last night – it’s kind of unfortunate though that someone’s stay there can so depend on ONE little performance – anyway Bo made it through to another round which makes me happy hehehe

lets see, what else has been going on? – Mom has been driving me up the damn wall!!! – last week we were out and some guy asked her for her phone number – not a stranger – apparently he was our neighbor all while I was growing up – I had no idea because in all the years we lived there I never saw anybody ever go in or come out of that house! – seriously I thought Oompa Loompas ran the place – anyway he seemed like a really nice guy – apparently his wife died like 7 years ago – anyway so they went out to breakfast a few days ago and while they were there he asked her out for two more dates this week… dinner last night and to some dinner dance thing on Saturday night – which she agreed to – but then she started thinking she didn’t want to go to this dinner dance because it will be full of local people who she’s sure will start questioning her about why she’s with this guy and not with the guy she was with for the last 15 years…. I say if anyone is rude enough to ask you about that then who cares what they think!!! – but don’t worry mom they’ll only talk about you behind your back!! hehehe – anyway she wasn’t feeling well yesterday so she backed out of dinner but that means she can’t get out of this thing Saturday – she keeps talking about how she doesn’t know how to date and I told her – ya know you don’t have to commit to a long term relationship with EVERY man who takes you to dinner… just ride it out see how it goes – from what I know of her dating history it’s been like this – my father for 7 years – the pedophile for 9 years – after that she went on one date with a man who ended up in prison for embezzlement - then she hooked up with her last boyfriend who she was with for 15 years…. All of these men were shits – which brings us to the next issue…. She’s not sure she can be with a nice guy…. She’s afraid they’ll have sex and it will be totally boring - because he’s a nice guy!?!?! – I dunno Sam is a very nice guy and sex with him is usually anything but boring to me – but he’s really all I have to go on since any sex I had before him was when I was 15 and sex with teenage boys is well… not usually much to write home about – anyway first of all MOM I don’t want to hear about you having sex… especially with someone you’ve thus far only ever shared one meal with… maybe you should stop thinking about sex so much – I told N this and she said ‘well it’s probably been a while’ ewwww I don’t care!! hehehe - if I was single and even if it had been 10 years since I had sex and even if it was on my mind after one date – I WOULD NOT be talking about it like she is – it’s making me sick!! haaaa – see people think that they shouldn’t get divorced because the separation will traumatize the children… NO it’s the fact that at some point those parents are going to date and they are going to want to talk about it!!! – I hope she goes to this dinner dance and all goes well and she likes him and he likes her and if nothing else she makes a nice friend – because he has a truck and that could be useful! hehehe – just kidding…. but seriously I hope it all works out

today is Sam’s day off – I have no idea what we’re gonna do but it looks like a beautiful day!! So I’m gonna go get dressed and have some breakfast and wait for him to get home from his training….

I woke up with this song in my head thinking I can’t recall the last time I heard it…. I started thinking it might have something to do with me writing yesterday in that 100 things about me thing, about crying and stuff – because I often seem to have a need to make people think I’m some hard unemotional bitch but as I was putting the song on here I realized I heard it like a week ago – so it could be from either I suppose

Harden My Heart - Quarterflash

Cryin' on the corner, waitin' in the rain

I swear I'll never, ever wait again

You gave me your word, but words for you are lies

Darlin' in my wildest dreams, I never thought I'd go

But it's time to let you know....oh

I'm gonna harden my heart

I'm gonna swallow my tears

I'm gonna turn...and...leave you here

All of my life I've been waitin' in the rain

I've been waiting for a feeling, that never, ever came

It feels so close, but always disappears

Darlin', in your wildest dreams, you never had a clue

But it's time you got the news

I'm gonna harden my heart

I'm gonna swallow my tears

I'm gonna turn...and...leave you here

Darlin', in my wildest dream, I never thought I'd go

But it's time to let you know

I'm gonna harden my heart

I'm gonna swallow my tears

I'm gonna turn...and...leave you here
I'm gonna harden my heart

I'm gonna swallow my tears

I'm gonna harden my heart

I'm gonna swallow my tears

Harden my heart

I'm gonna swallow my tears

Harden my heart...

a brand new day... in many ways

Yuck…. I woke up feeling like I had been at the bar all night, cloudy eyes, fuzzy teeth, pasty mouth, kinda racy, scratchy voice, the whole bit…. And I didn’t even get a good time to show for it

After the way I was feeling yesterday I should have known better – but we borrowed a circular saw from the in laws a couple weeks ago that they needed back… so I went along for the ride – really just because I wanted to be with Sam and I completely forgot that I had been avoiding them…. Not for any good reason. In fact my reason is pretty flimsy actually…. And I’m a big girl I should be able to just deal with this BUT from what I’d been hearing I knew I couldn’t deal with B… when I first met him oh about 13 years or so ago we did NOT get along – I was a stupid teenager he was a half assed authority figure who was interfering with my time with my boyfriend…. etc. – somewhere along the way we realized we actually had quite a bit in common – we’re both big into horror movies, goofy old tv shows, classic rock, we have the same kind of humor both can cuss like sailors if we’re in the mood and well most of the time actually – although I’ve really been trying to curb my bad language – anyway he’s only 10 years older than me – less than 10 years older than Sam so even their relationship is kinda more like friends than a parent child thing.

B has always had drug problems…. Mostly coke and booze actually… I’m not sure how long ago it was but I’ll say about 16 or so years ago She threatened to leave him if he didn’t cut the shit and somehow he did! – for a while anyway but probably somewhere within the last 10 years he started again… I didn’t notice anything was wrong because I didn’t really spend THAT much time with him at first…. But he got extremely bad – blew literally about a quarter of a million dollars up his nose in like a year or two – she was about to leave him again – they were both sick all the time from the stress, it was ridiculous… eventually when you’d go over there he wouldn’t even come out of his room which was odd because he’s normally very friendly with us… me and him became pretty good buddies over the years we’d always talk about movies & joke around play punching and calling eachother cocksucker, cracking jokes, and just generally being filthy little piggies – but in a fun way – but – and I’m not saying this is bad – I’m VERY happy for him that he’s found some kind of peace and happiness…. In the last 6 months or so he pretty much hit bottom – I would seriously have said I don’t think he could have lived another year or two on the path he was on – but somehow he asked god for help and boy did he get it!! there had been talk of the bible in the house for a while since C started going to church and youth group probably at first to be with S but he really got into it – probably although he didn’t realize it at the time I’m sure it was a bit of an escape from the chaos at home (he says he had no idea any of this was going on) but that probably has something to do with him being a teenager – most teenagers are pretty self centered and don’t have a clue as to what’s going on around them – (I think I’m the uncommon freak who would practically break out in hives at the mere mention that maybe a bill wasn’t gonna get paid when I was a kid) - Anyway He knew his father had become withdrawn but honestly had no idea of what was actually going on – and I’m so glad for that!! because there were many times when we’d go over there that I’d want to take him home with us so he wouldn’t have to live with that crap – somehow he managed to be pretty oblivious to the whole thing – and somehow in the chaos of it all managed to grow up into a pretty awesome… .man? good grief I’m OLD!

Anyway I’m sure B had people praying for him – especially his wife – she got pretty into the bible, even started going to church with C on Sundays and stuff – I think it’s the only thing that gave her the strength to not leave actually because she was VERY close!! But one day something changed in him he stopped with the drugs and picked up a bible and well he hasn’t put it down since…. He looks GREAT and he’s so happy and excited and full of joy it’s overwhelming and I KNEW it would be which is why I was avoiding going over there…. I’ve kinda seen this before in someone I wasn’t close to – I went through the incessant bible talk with this person when I was like 13 and I knew how it would be and I just can’t deal with it…. you know they just want to pick up their bible and start reading passages to you… and to me someone reading the bible is just…. Like being stuck in traffic with a broken car stereo - It’s not so much that I’m not interested but it’s like Shakespeare…. I don’t understand it!! Sam says it’s because I don’t want to hear it I say I just can’t…. getting up in the middle would be like the ultimate in rude but you know there’s no end in sight… what do you do? And I knew he’d be this way… literally bouncing off the walls, talking a mile a minute which is his nature when he’s excited anyway but it’s excessive now – at one point all I could think of was RAINMAN and I stepped off into the corner laughing… he came over to ask what was so funny and I just said ‘5 minutes to Wapner’ he understood… but he’s just so jazzed…. He SO ‘full of the spirit’ or whatever the heck ya call it… that he’s actually embraced the fact that they currently have no electricity…. (haaaa CURRENTly!! hehe) because of how deep in a hole they got financially because of his drug use – we had no idea of this and when we pulled in the driveway and I saw all the candles lit inside I was half expecting Piper Laurie to come out of the closet with a knife shouting ‘THEY’RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!’ – and I leaned over to Sam in the car and said just that and we laughed and laughed and he said that should be my big opening line…. But I just couldn’t – I walked in and I told him what I just said and I swear to whatever that it was like he almost didn’t get the joke… I know he did though haaaa but immediately he seemed to feel he needed to tell us all about how he’s so happy now that it doesn’t even bother him in the slightest that they are living in the dark with no water – hey I’m all for a blackout – I enjoy those rare times when a storm knocks our power out and I’m VERY happy for all of them that they are in a place now where they can shrug something like this off - because they WILL get over this hump…. But then he took us on a tour of all the cleaning out of ‘clutter and confusion' - which I’m also all for… if you have the strength and the motivation to unload your excessive crap then I’m all for it!! they or should I say HE is/was very into having everything he wants when he wants it…. big screen tv ‘yeah we can have that even though I haven’t worked in a month’ and 5 dvd players and 16 guitars and 12 stereos and, and ,and – so he could certainly stand to get rid of some stuff!! And they offered us a 5 disk cd changer and something else which Sam wisely passed on because that would just create more clutter for US…. But it’s evening and it’s getting dark and since they’ve been cleaning things out there is junk everywhere so it was hard to notice but THEN he showed us his movies… which have been dwindled down from – well he’s the only person I know who had a bigger bunch of movies than me and I have somewhere between 200 and 300 movies… his have gone down to what fits onto about a 12 inch shelf!!! And what did he do? He took every last one of them to the DUMP!!!! I almost threw up right there in their living room!!! He had one of the best collections of hard to find horror movies (he probably gave Joe Bob Briggs a run for his money) – and he had just about every vampire movie ever made – just tons of stuff!! Plus who knows what else…. Ok that’s it – I DO understand that when someone purges themselves of stuff they think is bad they do not want to go ahead and pass it on to people – because they think it’s bad! So I do understand why this all ended up at the dump and not on MY shelves but it was more of the fact that this is it… he is NOT the same person anymore and me and him no longer have a single thing to talk about…. This makes me sad… I swear it makes me cry just to think about it… it’s like that person died and I’ll never see him again…. Even though this new person that has inhabited his shell is all the better for the change it’s still sad to me… all that combined with his overwhelming enthusiasm – I just can’t deal with it!! so I’m sure aside from their vow renewal next month I won’t be seeing much of them anymore…. I truly do not want to go to this thing now… not because I don’t want to sit through 2 hours of church but because I REALLY don’t want to deal with him! – of course this sounds terrible and selfish and who knows what else but it is how I feel…. I can’t help that – of course I’m still gonna go…. And I’ll probably sit in a corner and observe the whole thing through my yawns and aside from the brief conversations with the rest of the family I’ll probably be counting the minutes till we can leave and I can go on about the business of avoiding them until next christmas or whenever – actually I want to have a barbecue this summer and have EVERYBODY over – because what is the point of finally having all this back yard if we never use it hehehe – so maybe things will calm down by then – I hope so!!

So I was going on like 5 hours sleep yesterday topped with a really bad headache that did it’s best to drain me - and by the time we got out of there last night it was after 10 – I was sooooo exhausted and I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around all this even though I fully expected it – for that one day I was so out of it I forgot I really didn’t want to be there – and it was the one day I REALLY should NOT have gone!! So not only was I physically tired but by the time we left I was mentally drained…. Their house was full of candle smoke and the scent of a thousand different candles – and the smoke from the occasional ‘indoor’ cigarette – I’m used to living in the smoke and scent free zone – my house smells like fresh air or cooking food most of the time aside from the occasional passing of the smudge stick so all that smoke and not enough sleep is why I feel like I was at the bar all night…. I think I just need a long hot shower and my leftover sesame chicken and it will be a….

Brand New Day ~ Van Morrison

When all the dark clouds roll away

And the sun begins to shine

I see my freedom from across the way

And it comes right in on time

Well it shines so bright and it gives so much light

And it comes from the sky above

Makes me feel so free makes me feel like me

And lights my life with love
And it seems like and it feels like

And it seems like yes it feels like

A brand new day, yeah

A brand new day oh
I was lost and double crossed

With my hands behind my back

I was longtime hurt and thrown in the dirt

Shoved out on the railroad track

I've been used, abused and so confused

And I had nowhere to run

But I stood and looked

And my eyes got hooked

On that beautiful morning sun
And it seems like and it feels like

And it seems like yes it feels like

A brand new day, yeah

A brand new day oh
And the sun shines down all on the ground

Yeah and the grass is oh so green

And my heart is still and I've got the will

And I don't really feel so mean

Here it comes, here it comes

Oh here it comes right now

And it comes right in on time

Well it eases me and it pleases me

And it satisfies my mind

I know I didn’t wake up with that song it just popped into my head as I was ending this so there it is – one of my favorite songs off of one of my all time favorite albums ever – because I truly am a dork haaaa

the blahs

Well I don’t know what’s wrong with me today…. I have no energy I just want to sit and sulk… I had the weirdest dream last night and maaan some of it seemed sooooo real!! I don’t really feel like talking about it right now but it made me kind of uneasy…. DAMN I’d love to know what’s in this blueberry muffin I’m eating it’s really REALLY good!!! – it’s like creamy somehow or something…. man!! Hmm – anyway
Later on I woke up… around 2:30 I guess it was and I had a pretty bad headache – the kind that goes all across the base of my skull and makes my neck feel all inflamed – I started getting them years ago when I had lyme disease… I have no idea what it is - it feels something like a migraine but not quite… Excedrin usually does the trick though – so I went out into the living room to try to rest in my big comfy chair – took my pills and those stupid roosters from across the street started crowing at like 3 am!!! What the fuck?!?!?! – shouldn’t they wait on that until the sun is coming up??? That is exactly why I only have hens – I wouldn’t want to disturb the neighbors with some loud ass rooster at 3 am – not that they can’t hear these people’s roosters anyway haaaa (normally I smile when I hear the roosters but not today) – so my day didn’t start out great – I never did get back to sleep – but I didn’t feel all that tired anyway – probably because I fell asleep before 9 ~sigh

I’ve been kinda down all day…. And I needed some groceries so mom offered to take me to the store – I was pretty much in a daze the whole way through – she kept talking to me and I was like… huh? Like 5 minutes later – this happened about 10 times – not to mention…. Wait what the hell does that mean ‘not to mention’ – I’m fucking mentioning it now aren’t I??? – anyway I also had to walk back and forth like 8 times to get things I missed in aisles I’d already been in…. to be honest I miss grocery shopping with Sam – everything always went so smoothly – ok well maybe not ALWAYS hehehe – I just miss him right now… if he was here I’d hold onto him and he’d have to pry me off… but he’ll be home soon – and he has all day tomorrow off!! Yeaaaa!! – instead of sitting here writing this I should be off cleaning up the house or cooking dinner… that is what I NEED to be doing – and my slacking off the last few days is probably what has me feeling so out of sorts this is how out of sorts I am…. On the way home from the store of course mom is listening to one of her awful easy listening adult dork stations…. I’m an adult but I sure as hell don’t wanna listen to that crap… and what I find amusing is that half of the stuff on those stations is stuff that was pop crap kids were listening to when I was a kid…. But not THIS song…. I always make a joke that one of the songs that comes on in her car is sure to end up in my head within the next few mornings – today it was THE PINA COLADA SONG!! – mark my words I will wake up with this song in my head sometime this week… unlesssss I just found the cure and predicting it will keep it from happening – gawd I hope so!! Any like I said this is how out of sorts I am…. I was all but in tears listening to this song… the fucking pina colada song!! maybe I better post the words to this god awful song so that for all eternity I can remember what a pathetic mental case I am today!!

Escape (The Pina Colada Song) ~ Rupert Holmes

I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long.

Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song.

So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.

And in the personals column, there was this letter I read:

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.I'm the lady you've looked for, write to me, and escape."

I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean.

But me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine.

So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad.And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half-bad.

, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.

I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne.

I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape.

At a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape."

waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place.

I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face.

It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you."

And we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew"..

t you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.

And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne.

If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.

You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.

If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.

If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.

You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

never actually heard this song all the way through from beginning to end and actually paid attention to it – but today since I was held captive in the car with no chance of ‘escape’ and no hope of getting a decent station turned on and no chance of getting a bucket of pina coladas to drown myself in, I listened and I had quite a bit of commentary… first of all – you have this chick laying in bed next to you and you’re reading the personal ads? Ok we can overlook that because they can be entertaining… but to not even think of your ‘old lady’ – yeah that is kinda mean!
But then to reply?!?! Hmmm I’m not liking this guy very much!!
So this is where mom says… hold on it has a happy ending…. Of course I’m skeptical because this is not sounding good!! and then what happens but he goes to this bar to meet his mystery lady and it turns out to be his own ‘lovely lady’ she was practically an old hag a few lines back now she’s a lovely lady…
Anyway this is where I start to get teary…. Awww it’s HER!! yeaaaa!!
But then I think umm ok – does it occur to him that in her ad she was looking for someone with half a brain? So apparently she thinks he’s an idiot – he thinks she a boring old hag
Yet here they are planning their big escape –mom says that perhaps I’m reading too much into the pina colada song…. and I just sit back and sigh…. Why did this song make me so sad? PMS? I don’t think so
I’m just having a rotten day…. I just want to curl up in bed and sulk…

Hmmm well tmorrow is another day…. I’m sure I’ll feel all better when I wake up – I hope so anyway

Maybe tonight I’ll watch all my backed up episodes of CSI & without a trace – but first Sam just came home and offered to get us some chinese food since I’m having such a crappy day and neither of us particularly want what I had planned to make for dinner – Things are looking up already

making amends

**WARNING** this post contains information (of a sexual nature) that may make certain people uncomfortable!!

Silence filled the room as the door opened and she crawled across the floor. Wearing nothing but the white silk bra and panties, which she had bought just for him. She knew how he loved to see her in such things, and it would make him especially happy to know that she did this for him, and him alone.

As she made her way over to him she was sure to keep her eyes lowered. She had upset him and she knew it, but she was determined to make it right. It would seem silly to some, too small to mention really, but to them it was important. A minor infraction but she knew the rule and she did it anyway. She probably would have told him but he found the receipt before she got a chance. She wasn’t in a great mood. Probably due in part to guilt for having done something she knew she wasn’t supposed to do, even though she knows it’s for her own good, and that he is only looking out for her. Things got a little blown out of proportion, then life and work crept in and time slipped away. That doesn’t happen very often, usually these matters are taken care of promptly and forgotten. But before either of them knew it 3 days had gone by, and the matter was kind of eating at her. She was probably making a bigger deal out of it than he was, but still she felt bad and she wanted to make it right.

When she finally reached His feet she stayed there, silent, head lowered, kneeling before him, nervously biting her bottom lip.

He reached out his hand and stroked her cheek gently brushing back the little wisps of hair that had fallen out of her loosely knotted bun and she sighed. She tilted her head up to try to get a look at his expression but he quickly grabbed her chin and turned her head back down toward the floor. She knew she was moving too fast, that she was to keep her head down until he said otherwise, and for a moment she thought maybe she wasn't worthy of Him. Maybe she would always be the same bratty little slut who can't follow orders, but she stopped herself knowing it would upset him more to know she was thinking herself down.

With one hand on the back of her head, he took the other and started to undo his pants. He pulled her head closer as he pulled his pants down over his hips and his cock was released, half hard from watching her crawling to him so sweetly.

She opened her mouth, wetting her lips and leaned in. Her pulse was racing. God, she wants to taste him so bad. All she’s been able to think about for days is making him cum. She stuck out her tongue, flicking it at him, making his cock twitch as it got harder and she quickly sucked him in as deep as she could, nearly gagging as she held him in her throat. Gently biting down as her jaw tried to adjust. His cock still growing in her mouth

She fought the urge to touch herself. She knew her new panties were getting soaked and she could just imagine the feel of that damp, soft silk pressed hard against her clit. For a moment she lost track of her thoughts but was brought back when he grabbed her hair and tugged, which only made her even wetter. He knows it drives her crazy when he pulls her hair like that. She looked up at him looking down at her and he could feel the vibration of her throat against him from her soft moans. She rolled her tongue up feeling every inch of his cock against it as she leaned back a bit pulling him out of her mouth just long enough to smack his cock against her cheek and then swirled her tongue back down, flicking it at his balls and sucking them in. Rolling them around her mouth as she kneaded at his belly with her finger tips.

Then as she moved back up pressing his now throbbing, hard cock against her lips she reached down between her legs pushing her fingers into her panties, pulling them aside. Her lips parted and she slowly sucked him back in as she pushed her fingers into her dripping wet pussy. First one, then two and as his cock entered her throat she brought her fingers up and put them to his lips. He took her hand in his and sucked her fingers clean, and he groaned. She could feel his cock throbbing against her lips. Her head was swimming and all she could think about was feeling his hot cum spurting into her throat, dripping down her chin. She could suck him like this all day.

Any other day he would surely be content with that too, but it’s been a long time since they were able to be so close. It felt like forever since he’d been inside of her. He tilted her chin up and growled almost inaudibly about how badly he wanted to feel her wet, little pussy wrapped around his cock, and her eyes rolled back in her head as she whimpered, still sucking at him wanting to taste every last inch. But he couldn’t take it any more. He told her he wanted to see her ass in the air. She looked up at him again; licking her lips and quickly did as she was told. Crawling around on all fours until she was facing away from him. She folded her arms under her head with her ass in the air and she wiggled it at him, taunting him. He gave her ass a little smack, just enough to sting and leave a slight mark. That’s what she gets for teasing him, but then again that’s why she does it.

And she grinned, getting even wetter from the sting of his hand and before she could even blink he tore her panties aside and slammed his cock so hard and deep inside her she nearly hit her head on the wall. Then he reached around shoving his hand up underneath her bra pushing it up over her tits, grabbing at them and pinching her nipples as he kept pounding deep inside her. She wanted to cum so bad, feeling his fingers pinching at her nipples like that almost sent her over the edge, but she was mindful, trying not to cum until he gave her permission. Then he grabbed at her hair, pulling her up practically onto her knees and she screamed, gasping, trying so hard not to cum. He wasn’t making it easy.

He could tell how hard she was trying and he whispered in her ear telling her what a good girl she was. Almost grunting one word with each thrust as he fucked her so hard she couldn’t see straight. She could tell he was very close too, he was almost hyperventilating he was breathing so hard. He kept that one hand tangled in her hair, pulling her head back and he held her close with the other. Reaching around he slid his hand down her belly until his fingers were just touching her clit and she gasped. She could feel his breath hot on her neck. His teeth biting into her shoulder, then he hissed at her to cum just as he started to fill her with his own. There was no holding back now, feeling him emptying into her. That first spurt of semen as he deliberately forced it in as deep as possible. Mmmm, god she loves the way his cock feels inside her.

She did as she was told. Surprised and very proud of herself for being able to hold out that long and he could feel her pussy tight on him pulling him in even deeper, wanting to suck him of every last drop. He slumped down on her back, kissing her shoulders as he drove the last little bit deep inside her, and they lay there slowly falling onto their sides, his cock still inside her. Her dripping wet pussy leaking his hot cum all over their thighs, all over the floor and he wrapped his arms around her, still feeling her muscles sucking at him. Again he brushed the hair from her face, kissed her cheek and told her she’d always be his good girl and she smiled as she drifted off to sleep, warm and safe in His arms.

zen and the art of sitting on your ass

Could the weather be any better? It’s been so beautiful I don’t know what to do with myself hehehe
Right now Sam is in the living room doing yoga and the cat seems to be meditating right alongside him….
And I’m sitting my ass right here as usual…. doing my morning routine… I really should work on getting more Zen…. To say ‘more’ would imply that I’m even slightly Zen and that is just silly - if I was any less Zen I would spontaneously combust or something

Anyway what has been going on here lately? Nothing!! I’m antsy today!! I just want to do all kinds of things…. Over the weekend we (me, mom, J & E) went to the flea market at the fair grounds – that was pretty cool… J wasn’t feeling too well though… apparently the doctor thinks she needs to have her gall bladder removed…. Which worries me because I know mine hasn’t always been so kind to me… maybe it’s genetic because we’re not the only people in the family to have gall bladder problems – anyway I hope she doesn’t end up needing surgery – I can’t imagine dealing with a 14 month old pretty much by yourself after having part of your guts removed – I remember how I felt after having my appendix out…. of course that ruptured so that wasn’t quite the same but still…. babies don’t understand stitches haaaa - I bought a copy of Boxing Helena while we were there anyway…. Somehow I’ve gone all this time without ever seeing that so maybe sometime this week I’ll sit down and watch it…. Sam saw it years and years ago and said it was pretty odd… but I like odd – we’ll see… if it sucks I’ll sell it at one of the yard sales this summer

We got quite a bit done in the yard yesterday – it looks a lot better now… and I was happy to see that I didn’t lose everything I planted last year in the terrible septic fiasco in November – I was pretty pissed that they had to tear out the entire area I spent a whole day planting full of like $150 worth of stuff…. Looks like at least a couple of my irises seem to have been spared… woo hoo!! hehehe – this place will look awesome once we get that fence up and can actually plant stuff – it will be like walking off the set of Sanford & Son and into Oz haaaa – I’ll feel much better then!! – so I’m gonna go get some work done…. it’s too nice a day and I feel too good to just sit here all day

~buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Spirit Of Radio

I had such a headache yesterday!! it tried to ruin my day but I didn’t really let it…. once Sam came home we went out to get some lunch – mmmm Indian! Didn’t know if I could stomach it but I had to give it a try – Indian food usually makes me feel better…. Not this time – but that’s ok – we found out they’re moving down the road a bit – won’t be so convenient for movie going but still plenty convenient for when we’re out that way…. We thought about going to the movies but I really wasn’t feeling very well so we just went to Barnes & Noble to pick up a DVD Sam had asked them to put aside for him – some YOGA thing… in hopes of being able to reduce the number of chiropractor visits he’s been making – I hope it helps – if nothing else it will help him ease into his day a little better – only good things can come from that (sometimes he’s a little grumpy in the morning) but I love him anyway – sometimes I’m a little too chipper in the morning hehehe – I wonder what makes a morning person hook up with someone who is so NOT a morning person… when I wake up I bounce out of bed… well I hobble these days but I open my eyes and bam I’m up and ready to go…. But him… he has to lay there for a ½ hour and gather his thoughts in silence – I’m usually very chatty after several hours of inactivity and want to chew his ear off which just makes him grumpier hehehe – so anyway we went to Barnes and Noble to pick up this DVD and I just had to pick up the May issue of Fangoria for the insanely expensive cover price of $8!!!! – I really should just get a subscription…. Anyway I haven’t been keeping up with ANYTHING lately let alone what movies are coming out so I was totally flipping out to see the sorta sequel to House of 1000 Corpses is in the works…. I can NOT wait to see it – it looks like it’s gonna be fucking awesome!! Also I guess I haven’t been paying attention because I had NO idea that Ryan Reynolds (Van Wilder etc.) is playing the George Lutz role in the new Amityville remake!! Now I HAVE to see it… not that there was ever any doubt that I would be seeing it haaaa but I really extra super want to see it now!! mmhmm – I’m not licking my lips – I swear!!

Ok well on to the song…. I’ve been listening to a lot of Rush lately so it doesn’t surprise me that this song would be somewhere neat the front of my head… but why today??

The Spirit of Radio ~ Rush

begin the day with a friendly voice

a companion unobtrusive

plays that song that's so elusive

and the magic music makes your morning mood

off on your way, hit the open road

there is magic at your fingers

for the spirit ever lingers

undemanding contact in your happy solitude

invisible airwaves crackle with life

bright antenna bristle with the energy

emotional feedback on timeless wavelength

bearing a gift beyond price, almost free

all this machinery making modern music

can still be open hearted

not so coldly charted

it's really just a question of your honesty, yeahYour honesty

one likes to believe in the freedom of music

but glittering prizes and endless compromises

shatter the illusion of integrity

invisible airwaves crackle with life

bright antenna bristle with the energy

emotional feedback on timeless wavelength

bearing a gift beyond price, almost free

for the words of the profits were written on the studio wall

concert hall

and echoes with the sound of salesmen

Still The One

Maaaaan I sacked out early last night – I wasn’t even up long enough to see them boot scary spice off of American Idol I don’t know why I care this season but for some reason I’m into it – anyway that sucks – I kinda liked her but I think she’s been off her game lately…. Trying to prove her versatility too much maybe when she doesn’t really have any – anyway at this point I’m for Bo or Carrie – as soon as I heard Carrie audition I predicted she’d be the winner – so we’ll see – I kinda like Constantine but that goofy gazing into the camera bit has got to stop!! Anyway I had a crappy night, I fell asleep way too early, got up around 11 to go to bed and couldn’t get to sleep so I came out here – turned this idiot box on and then said screw that and went back to my chair to sleep – I knew I had a headache coming on but at that point it wasn’t worth taking anything… if I had I never would have gotten to sleep – woke up around 2:30 and took some excedrin ‘cause my head was pounding by then and continued to sleep on and off till like 6 but my head still hurts… I hate days like this!! – it’s Sam’s sorta day off - once he gets home from training at 12:30 anyway… and it looks like a really beautiful day!! – supposed to be about 60º today which is fine by me!! I have a feeling that the overly warm weather isn’t too far off…. He had said something about hitting Barnes & Noble later – we haven’t done that in a while... hope my head gets to feelin’ better or that plan probably won’t work…. Either way I’m not gonna let this headache get in the way of such a beautiful day!! Stuff will get done!! hehehe well I fell asleep and woke up many times this morning and each time this was the song in my head… I know I haven’t heard it in a while… but it’s ‘our song’ so maybe I was missing him since I wasn’t sleeping in our bed last night – anyway here it is:

Still The One ~ Orleans

we've been together since way back when

sometimes I never want to see you again

but I want you to know, after all these years

you're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear
you're still the one I want to talk to in bed

still the one that turns my head

we're still having fun, and you're still the one

I looked at your face every day

but I never saw it 'til I went away

when winter came, I just wanted to go deep in the desert,

I longed for the snow
you're still the one that makes me laugh

still the one that's my better half

we're still having fun, and you're still the one

you're still the one that makes me strong

still the one I want to take along

we're still having fun, and you're still the one

changing, our love is going gold

even though we grow old, it grows new
you're still the one that I love to touch

still the one and I can't get enough

we're still having fun, and you're still the one
you're still the one who can scratch my itch

still the one and I wouldn't switch

we're still having fun, and you're still the one

you are still the one that makes me shout

still the one that I dream about

we're still having fun, and you're still the one...

The Ballad Of The Fucking Heirloom

** WANTED **

a home for my family's oldest surviving 'relative'

all her 'cushion' is long gone - she's basically nothing but a skeleton at this point and her arms are nearly falling off!! but she's still plenty sturdy and apparently has some good stories to tell!! however if she doesn't have a new home by next monday she's out on the street cause I've had enough - I just can't take her anymore - every day I have to prop her up into a comfortable position taking care not to damage her already broken arms - I swear I'm not the one that broke them - I don't care what she says!! - it was nice having her around for a while but enough is enough already - I'm getting too old for this!! she simply must go to make room for newer less fragile.... furniture

Well Sam found us a ‘new’ recliner…. I knew the day would come but I wasn’t expecting it and now we have to get rid of the fucking heirloom which is FINE by me – I HATE that couch!! ‘the fucking heirloom’ as I so lovingly refer to it, is at this point a bench-like couch that used to be my great grandmother’s – when she had it, it was a normal couch with springs and stuff but over the years it’s transformed into more of a bench which I have put a futon mattress on – everyone in my family has been in possession of it at some point down to me (the oldest of the kids) whenever anyone comes into my house they say ‘if that couch could talk’ – ok stop right there!! I have no interest in what it would say – mom claims she witnessed my aunt losing her virginity on it – thanks for that visual, mother!! ‘scuse me while I vomit – R had the thing out in the goat shed for a while – god knows what he was doing on in!! – I’ve told everyone that as soon as I find something to put in its place that fucking heirloom is OUT of here!! They all say I have to notify them so they can find a proper place to put it – like it’s one of the family… I understand it’s been in the family for years but it’s a horribly uncomfortable piece of junk…. The arms are falling off!! Haaaa anyway the time has come so I guess I need to make the calls – the heirloom is out on the street unless someone wants to take it in!

Finally saw I HEART HUCKABEES the other day…. Aside from the part where I started to nod off I thought it was pretty funny…. I’m very glad there are no existential detectives in Kittyville cause surely Sam would be all over that!! and as much as I think having Lily Tomlin peering through my windows would be a fucking riot I don’t think we need anyone else encouraging him to question his existence hehehe

Last night since the cable was out we watched Plains, Trains and Automobiles – which somehow I had never seen before – I’m not a huge Steve Martin fan for some reason – which is odd cause I tend to like goofy humor and they don’t come much goofier than him!! – I laughed my ass off through the whole thing – aside from where Neal was going overboard telling Del what an irritating pain in the ass he is… then I wanted to jump through the screen and kick Neal and hug poor Del hehehe
But I have a soft spot for John Candy – anyway I think it’s my new favorite movie!!

At least until I see another movie hehehe

Well I don’t seem to have much to say today so I’ll shut up and get on with today’s song:

The Ballad Of Curtis Loew ~ Lynyrd Skynyrd

well, I used to wake the mornin' before the rooster crowed

searchin' for soda bottles to get myself some dough

brought 'em down to the corner down to the country store

cash 'em in, and give my money to a man named Curtis Loew

old Curt was a black man with white curly hair

when he had a fifth of wine he did not have a care

He used to own an old dobro used to play it 'cross his knee

I'd give old Curt my money He'd play all day for me

play me a song Curtis Loew, Curtis Loew

well, I got your drinkin' money tune up your dobro

people said he was useless them people all were fools

'cause Curtis Loew was the finest picker to ever play the blues

He looked to be sixty and maybe I was ten

Mama used to whoop me but I'd go see him again

I'd clap my hands, stomp my feet try to stay in time

He'd play me a song or two then take another drink of wine

play me a song Curtis Loew, Curtis Loew

well, I got your drinkin' money tune up your dobro

people said he was useless - them people all were fools

'cause Curtis Loew was the finest picker to ever play the blues
yes, sir

on the day old Curtis died nobody came to pray

ol' preacher said some words and they chunked him in the clay

well, he lived a lifetime playin' the black man's blues

and on the day he lost his life that's all he had to lose

play me a song Curtis Loew, hey Curtis Loew

I wish that you was here so everyone would know

people said he was useless - them people all were fools

'cause Curtis you're the finest picker to ever play the blues

my rollercoaster saturday

Well it’s such a beautiful day I don’t know why I’m inside doing this instead of outside doing NOTHING hehehe

A week or so ago Sam’s boss gave him tickets to some bluegrass concert and he asked if I’d want to go…. Why he asked I don’t know, he had to know I would not be thrilled about it… I suggested he find someone else to go with but that if he couldn’t I would go… reluctantly hehehe
He asked his brother but he had plans then he asked N and of course at the last minute he flaked – as usual
So he was just gonna give the tickets back because it was very obvious that I didn’t want to go… when he pulled away to go to work I felt pretty bad – I had told him all along I would go but he knows me! and I knew that it was me who was keeping him from going so I felt bad – but apparently I was willing to let my selfish desire to NOT go to this thing keep him from enjoying it – nice huh? – Anyway he was in a crappy mood yesterday morning anyway and it brought me down which pretty much ruined my whole day…. I was on the verge of tears, depressed and cranky all day - shortly after he got to work he called me (I thought to talk about how he was in a bad mood and that he was sorry if it upset me) – he does that when our mornings start out bad (if mornings start out bad it’s usually because he’s in a crabby mood cause I’m very much a morning person!) so I was happy to hear his voice so soon and be able to put the yuck behind us and go on with the day but that was NOT why he was calling at all… he sounded chipper which was good – apparently he snapped out of his crappy mood… he asked me to do some things around the house that I had been neglecting the last few days – because it’s warm and I’ve been busy being out doing stuff keeping busy which of course he doesn’t want to discourage because I’m generally such a hermit all winter long – I said ‘yeah that was my plan for the day’ but that I was also going out for a bit – and that I would do what I could… he said ‘good cause then everything can be in order when we get back from that concert’ … HUH? I said – he said he decided that he’d take me up on my offer to accompany him, which of course didn’t thrill me – then I got to thinking…. THIS was his big opener?? ...do all these chores so we can go to this thing you really don’t want to go to tonight??? – I was not happy and this conversation did nothing to lift my spirits for the day… although I was grateful that he was not as depressed as he seemed to be earlier.

At least one of us might have a decent day…. And strange as it sounds I would actually prefer it be him that is happy if one of us has to be in a bad mood…. But anyway there I was grumpy and depressed – probably PMSing – so I went out – usually that helps but then usually I don’t go out with my sister and or my mother – I should have known better!! J was also in a crabby mood and mom was just, well… mom – I think she has a serious personality disorder!!

anyway J was taking E (I really need to come up with names for these people) to the library in the next town to see some kind of puppet show or something so I went along for the ride just to check out that library since I’d never been there before – actually I didn’t even know it existed until about a month ago… it was cute… very small but nice – it’s a very nice program they have for the kids… they have play-doh hour I guess then story time and then a little snack & crafty thing where they make something crafty related to the story and have animal crackers & juice…. It was very nice – of course E being the weirdo that she is has no interest in animal crackers… I guess she knows she’s not supposed to eat animals – even in cracker form hehehe – they had quite a few movies there – which is nice! Our library doesn’t have many but they can exchange through that inter library exchange thingy which is very cool!!

Later there was a flea market over by the A&P so mom and I went to that…. Someone was selling butter toffee and well I’m a sucker for toffee so I got some of that and a new spice rack – I was eyeing this shelf unit, kinda like a book case and then she saw it and started eyeing it too… I said repeatedly (I wonder where I could put that?!) so she started saying the same thing… I was debating over getting it and figuring out a place later but was apparently being slow – she said ‘we’ll spend the $3 and someone will figure out a place for it later’ and we did – well she did… I figured if I ended up with it I’d just give her the $3
She looked around her house and decided there was no room so she told me to try to find a place… I said if I can’t find a place I’ll sand it down and repaint it, put E’s name on it, make it all cute and she can have it for toys, if J wanted it – but when Sam came home he was obviously on the up side of manic depressive-land and when he saw it he immediately wanted it – he decided I could paint it and make it very nice and he could use it on his side of the bed instead of the crappy table he has there now so I said ok… THEN mom went and showed it to J who then offered her $10 for it – apparently this thing is pretty cool and people are ready to battle over it… like tweedle dum and tweedle dee battling over a rattle – nothing can ever go smoothly – for once I was being reasonable and was ready to give it up when I realized I had no room… this is unusual for me – I usually want to cram as much shit into my house as possible – if it looks useful it eventually will be!! That’s my philosophy, haaaa – I told him I’d tell her we’re keeping it if it’s important to him but that I could find him something at a yard sale over he summer if he’s not in a hurry and he said to just give it to her – but for some reason I’m still pissed off about the whole thing… once again J gets what she wants – as usual…. Cause can I just say NO J WE’RE keeping it???!! noooooo
Immediately when I said Sam wants it to her she started in with the ohh but it’s perfect for E bit…. Because she knows I’d agree and give in because it’s for E blah blah blah…. Either way J gets her way which tends to irritate me but why should E lose out because her mother is a pain in the ass…. E can have a nice new book case/toy chest, which her aunt lovingly painted for her and J can have the nice big wooden shelves of resentment all wrapped up into one hehehe

When Sam got home I was sure to be laying on the couch pouting in silence so he’d REALLY be aware that I was having a bad day… usually I greet him with a big grin and say ‘you're FINALLY home!!’ hug him and ask him how his day was… but not this time!! So he swatted me on the butt and asked what was wrong – I told him that I was having a yucky day – that I had been depressed all day and just generally wasn’t in a very good mood!! – he said he had given it some thought on his way home and decided he would be very content to go to this thing on his own – and I’m sure he would have been but I decided to go with him anyway… because it was what I should do! I started to think about how it would be nice to snuggle up next to him and talk in the car – I love driving around with him at night – it’s so peaceful… I decided that it would be good for me to not give in to my urge to never go out at night – so we had dinner, got dressed and left… I was having a little anxiety on the way but when I saw how dead the street was that the thing was on I relaxed and when I saw our parking spot I smiled… we got there at the perfect time… we got an awesome parking spot in a little lot RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET!! Virtually unheard of in that area… it actually got me thinking that we weren’t supposed to be parking there it was so sweet hehehe – like if it’s too good to be true it must be! Not only did we get there in time to get an awesome spot but we got there BEFORE they started charging $5 for ‘event parking’!! which was good because about 5 minutes before we got there I said ‘we won’t have to pay for parking will we?’ and we both got a little worried because neither of us had so much as a dollar in cash on us…. He laughed because I always ask him for cash or make sure I have my ATM card with me whenever I go out because I never want to be without a little money while I’m out – just in case I get hungry or thirsty so he got a kick out of the fact that I NEVER have ANY money when I’m out with him… I said ‘that’s because I know you’ll take care of me’ ….I can’t expect that from a friend, sister or anyone else…. Although if I know we’ll be needing cash and I think of it before we leave the house I ask if he has any or bring mine if I have any – to avoid an ATM fee – I just didn’t think of it this time… so fortunately it wasn’t an issue!!

My Excedrin kicked in and I can’t seem to shut up….

So anyway because of our good fortune I spent some time at the concert hoping we weren’t gonna discover we had been towed when we left – a friend of his from work was also there and he joked around that he heard this thing went 4-5 hours when a friend of his saw it some place else and I totally fell for it…. I shook my head and said NO WAY am I staying THAT long… that two hours was pushing it hehehe

There was an hour-long discussion about bluegrass music beforehand – the guy was informative but was NOT a public speaker!! He was reading the whole thing and he kept stumbling and umming – I’m a better public speaker and I would probably piss my pants if I had to speak in front of that many people!! I yawned quite a bit – partly because of the subject matter but mostly because of his delivery
Then there was an opening act – some guy called Ramblin’ Jack Elliot who is apparently a very well known musician – although I’d never heard of him… he looked to be about as old as dirt!! I think he said he was nearly 75 - he was funny and I was surprisingly into him… it was kinda like being at a bonfire or something… he did mostly folk music… some Dylan, Woody Guthrie and other stuff so it was right up my alley – I’ve been very into more folky music lately and have been listening to a lot of Dylan so that was cool… I got a huge kick out of him… he kept starting songs and realizing he wasn’t gonna be able to make the high note so he’d start over in another key… he was a funny, funny man – he would give a little history on the songs he chose and was talking at one point about a couple of encounters he had with Dylan – one time being the very first time he had played this one Dylan song after being snowbound and hearing the album it was on, like 800 times…. apparently Dylan was in the audience and after he played the song Dylan stood up and said “I relinquish it to you” but this Jack character did a perfect Dylan impression basically mumbling so much you couldn’t understand a word of it – then clarifying it for us – the audience mostly consisted of used to be hippie types – they all laughed uproariously, applauding his amusing anecdote and dead on impersonation – I chuckled out loud at him and internally at the crowd…. And I thought if this other act that comes out is anything like this guy I’ll have no problem sitting through this evening at all…. And after a short intermission they came out and it occurred to me why I don’t seem to be a big fan of bluegrass music… there is no real percussion…. It’s mostly zippy ear piercing string stuff and I was immediately not impressed – although I took a closer look at the people on the stage and thought that one mandolin player can’t be older than 13 – after they did a song the singer introduced everyone and sure enough that crazy little guy was TWELVE years old!! Well he kicked ass on that mandolin especially for a kid!! But still I was not upset when Sam suggested we leave about 4 or 5 songs in – even though I felt kinda rude temporarily I was grateful to be getting out of there – I was getting a headache from the lack of air, people’s perfumes and the overly loud banjo and fiddle…. I was happy to see we had not been towed – that we had in fact been THAT lucky with our parking spot! hehehe we were both hungry so we thought about stopping at the diner on our way home but got to talking and passed it – so we were naughty and grabbed a bite at the McDonald’s drive through – I would have preferred the diner of course… just hanging out and talking – laughing playing obnoxious music on those little table side jukeboxes – but it was fun to be bad and eat totally junky fast food too and much cheaper and quicker!! – I wasn’t in a hurry to get home but I was glad to be back once we got there!! – it was a long day but once I lightened up it turned out to be pretty nice - I’m very glad I went with him!! We had a good time just being together

Wonderous Stories

I can’t get enough of hearing the birds outside the last few days it just sounds so springy out there every time I hear them I smile and sigh – seriously goofy like some kind of nature fresh douche scented laundry soap commercial!! hehehe anyway going out with N today and we’re leaving in like 20 minutes sooooo No time to write today but I’ve been being lazy about the songs so this is today’s…. I’ve heard this song a few times in the last week…. I really don’t think that is how wondrous is spelled! P.S. I did not forget about tubby time

Wonderous Stories ~ Yes

I awoke this morning

love laid me down by a river

drifting I turned on upstream

bound for my forgiver

in the giving of my eyes to see your face

sound did silence me

leaving no trace

I beg to leave, to hear your wonderous stories

beg to hear your wonderous stories

he spoke of lands not faror lands they were in his mind

of fusion captured high

where reason captured his time

in no time at all he took me to the gate

in haste I quickly checked the time

if I was late I had to leave to hear your wonderous stories

had to hear your wonderous stories

hearing

hearing

hearing your wonderous stories

hearing your wonderous stories

it is no lie I can see deeply into the future

imagine everything

you're close

and were you there to stand

so cautiously at first and then so high

as he spoke my spirit climbed into the sky

I bid it to return

to hear your wondrous stories

return to hear your wonderous stories
return to hear your wonderous stories
hearing

hearing
hearing

hearing

Captain Jack & stuff

Well it’s Monday…. I’m sitting here eating a wheat free organic oatmeal pecan cookie and the beast is crawling all over me trying to get some too… I think I have the weirdest cat ever! I just offered her some but as I suspected, THIS is one snack she wants nothing to do with… could it be that she actually just wants attention from me??! She’s like every other cat out there… wants attention when she wants it and for as long as she wants it but not a second longer!! Seriously, one second longer and she reaches out with her claws and grabs a hold of you in some kind of Kitty Death Grip – then out come the fangs – there have been times I have mistaken her for Nosferatu! And other times she melts my heart… when she sleeps she kinda snores and it’s the cutest thing you ever saw!! Well unless you have kids… then I guess them snoring is probably cuter, but for now SHE is my baby – and she’s my kinda baby too!! – the kind that can clean her own butt!! and boy does she ever!! She’s doing it right now!! hehehe – I guess I can’t blame her… if I had that kind of flexibility I can’t say I wouldn’t spend a lot of time in a similar position haaaa

Anyway…. It looks like a beautiful day – finally!! As much as I LOVE rainy days it’s nice to finally see the sun again too… especially without all the glare from the snow!! Even though it’s muddy and gross the yard looks so nice just not having snow anymore – I can’t wait till we get that damn tax money so we can put that fence up!! Which reminds me I had a dream about the chickens last night… how odd!! – but I’ve been having a lot of weird dreams lately – a couple nights ago I dreamed I was hanging out with N, she was working at some beverage barn type place which is odd cause we don’t even have beverage barns here but then again this was not the N I know! She was much thinner and was wearing nail polish… not a very hippy dippy thing to do – she had what looked like blue polish on her toes in some kinda hieroglyphic design on each toe… which I thought said ‘sell the dog’ but she told me it said ‘sell the baby’ – she couldn’t give her dog away to a lab for experiments so I don’t know what I was thinking! haaaa
Anyway I have no idea what this meant! Sell the baby?? what baby? EVERYONE is pregnant right now or just had a baby so maybe that’s it, babies have been an almost daily topic of conversation with pretty much everyone – anyway apparently I didn’t think it was all that odd and it turned out that N had a bit of a drinking and drug problem in my dream and I was kinda worried about her…. she was not herself and I had a yucky feeling - I remember we were sitting up against a chain link fence talking about her toes and how I thought that was nail polish and she told me it was actually etched into her nails – yuck! – shortly after that her father showed up… which is odd because her father has been dead since we were 10 only in my dream it turned out he was never dead at all… I was pretty surprised to see him.. and so was she but not because she thought he had been dead all this time… it was like she knew he was away – running from something I guess… she just didn’t expect to see him that day…. He looked… well… just like he did last time I saw him (when I was 10) hehehe – there was more to the dream – my father was there but he was going to leave but then he decided to stay and play baseball with some guys at a park but then it turned out to be a basketball… either way he sucked at whatever it was…. I have no idea what any of this means

Well no more time to yak today so I’ll get to the song…. I’ve been listening to a lot of Billy Joel lately BUT not this song so I have no idea why I woke up with it… I’ll never figure the mystery out

Captain Jack ~ Billy Joel

saturday night and you're still hangin' around

tired of living in your one horse town

you'd like to find a little hole in the ground,for awhile..

so you go to the village in your tie dyed jeans

and you stare at the junkies and the closet queens

it's like some pornographic magazine

and you smile

Captain Jack will get you high tonight

and take you to your special island

Captain Jack will get you by tonight

just a little push, and you'll be smilin'

your sister's gone out, she's on a date

you just sit at home and masturbate

your phone is gonna ring soon, but you just can't wait

for that call
so you stand on the corner in your new english clothes

and you look so polished from your hair down to your toes

ah but still your fingers gonna pick your nose

after all...

Captain Jack will get you high tonight

and take you to your special island

Captain Jack will get you by tonight

just a little push, and you'll be smilin'

so you decide to take a holiday

you got your tape deck and your brand new chevrolet

ah, there ain't no place to go anyway, what for?

so you got everything, ah, but nothing's cool

they just found your father in the swimming pool

and you guess you won't be going back to school

anymore.

Captain Jack will get you high tonight

and take you to your special island

Captain Jack will get you by tonight

just a little push, and you'll be smilin'

so you play your albums, and you smoke your pot

and you meet your girlfriend in the parking lot

oh but still you're aching for the things you haven't got

what went wrong?

and if you can't understand why your world is so dead

why you've got to keep in style and feed your head

well you're 21 and still your mother makes your bed, and that's too long

Captain Jack will get you high tonight

and take you to your special island

Captain Jack will get you by tonight

just a little push, and you'll be smilin'